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Thank you so much for your clarifying post. I am actually better with grounding by using techniques I learned with a EMDR therapist.

This is such good news, BloominWinter. You have indeed made a lot of progress. Congratulations!

My symptoms came back when my baby was the same age that I was when the prostitution began. I feel blessed to do the remembering when she was the same age as I was when stuff happened to me. I could see how small she was, how helpless to protect herself. That made sense of the size distortions I...

Here is an example of how God can used really damaged people. I was on a retreat for handicapped people as an able bodied partner. My job was to do for her anything she couldn't do. Twenty years ago, I thought I wasn't worth the space I took up in a room or the air I breathed. DAMAGED very...

I believe you! I believe you! It was/is the same with me but I learned that feeling and being damaged takes time in therapy to excise. Body memory brings it back to the present. Panic attacks do the same. It seems like they follow us. In reality, they give us the chance to air out the goo...

so sad and empty. I have a daughter with very little empathy about anything other than what she wants at 26. She most certainly didn't get that from me. I'm lost and don't know how to deal.

I do go into trance states. Sometimes feeling starey or glazed over can allow me to veg out and go into a full trance state. When I come back to myself, I feel refreshed and rested. Whatever to stress was, I must have worked it out with a different part of my brain. I'm guessing that trance may...

Dear Anthony, EMDR has been a great success for me. I have been going to a seasoned and knowledgeable Therapist who has been trained in EMDR specifically. We have worked with talk therapy and EMDR. We usually use EMDR when something has come up during that week. I have done more work in the last...

The process of therapy for me needs a metaphor. So here it is. In the beginning of therapy, I was like a toddler at the beach. the slightest wave would knock me over. When the memories became more serious, I became like a three year old at the beach. Tiny waves didn't knock me down but shin high...

Hi JOJO, I have been going to a therapist who does both talk therapy and EMDR. The EMDR has been wonderful for me. It has cut my panic attacks in half. Because our brains store information in the different halves of The brain, EMDR works to unite the information stored in different halves like...

I am not sure about 'not missing something I never had.' I know I looked for Mother substitutes in all the wrong places. I do remember being in a crib, thinking in pictures and sensations. I knew if I cried I might get scalded or beaten. I'm not sure I could even turn over at that point. I...

Congratulations, Ms. Spock. This is good news. I wonder if you will be able to access this when you feel out of it the next time.

amygdala

I am reminded of an incident that happened 5 or 6 years ago. I was in the hospital just after I had been returned to my room after surgery to place metal bars and screws to put my ankle together. Scraping nerve tissue off the bone in prep for the metal bars is evidently very painful so I was...

This makes so much sense to me. Fawn for me was the constant monitoring of my guest/captor of the week for exactly what he wants done and exactly how. It is hypervigilance on a life and death scale since so many of my little 'friends' failed to please and eventually died. In current life, it...

When I am startled with huge motor movements like babies do just because the phone rings .I go into a panic attack just because I've been startled. When I experience aging as the after effects of a period of abuse, exhaustion, disabled, can't climb stairs easily, go foggy minded and can't...

to bad, so sad.

Being here really helps me, sometimes I can understand better what is going on with me. Sometimes, I can help someone else out. The way I figure it, if someone else's stuff triggers me then I have learned something new about my own Ptsd to have reacted to it. It's all good. I am very grateful...

I agree with Ms Spock. You would make a great writer. Maybe, a speak to write computer program would be a more natural way for you to express yourself. One can be free to diverge from the point being made so we don't 'loose' something, some moment or memory we want to include. Word processing on...

slush

This is a Zen Buddhist thought that there are many ways to reach the top of a mountain. They are referring to different ways of faith and religion. Some of us might find it good to share things that have helped us reach beyond ourselves and our pain and so reach out to our higher power or God by...

"You've been doing this (therapy) for twenty years now and you still aren't over it." "That was all in the past. It's over now" Oh really, a full body real time flashback is very much experienced in the present. It is not a scene from a movie. It is the pain of rapes, the names i was called...

KP, dear one, thank you for your time and efforts being the Book Club Monitor for so long. I have loved your comments and funny asides. It has been a great way to be in touch with you my tigger friend. Happy boinging.

Hazzah!

Hugs