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With all the issues at hand, maybe it would be best to let your husband talk about that on his time when he has processed that part of his life on his own. It makes him uncomfortable so that is probably something he needs to ease into slowly... maybe even over a time period of years.
I think my husband has ptsd and he just reurned about a month ago so I'm new to this But I feel like he's reaching out to an ex too. I've tried to be here for him and accomodate his needs. It's so difficult. I think I know how you feel though