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I appreciate your support! :headphone:

My boyfriend is actually Chinese. He's just interested in many western philosophies (stoicism) as well as some eastern ones such as Buddhism and he tries to apply those concepts into my situation. My dad is Taiwanese but he divorced my mother when I was 9. He knew about the abuse and her...

I'm so terribly sorry that had to happen to your wife but I am very glad that you are able to move past it with the help from the people on this website. I can't imagine how awful I would feel if someone I cared about so much had to endure something so awful only to find out about it so long...

I think it sounds amazing you could just go to Mexico like that for a while. I wish I could do something similar. I can't imagine just leaving for 4 months like that to travel around and find myself because I feel like I have too much responsibilities here. It's very difficult for me to even set...

What helped you realize that you had to cut her out of your life? Is there a way you think that I could reach that state earlier on in my life? Sometimes I worry too because I think that maybe things will get better when I'm married or when I graduate and have a job but I also know in the back...

Haha yes I've already considered that...I've tried to find it as a source of encouragement to try to break out of this cycle... It's actually a bit "better" now because the phone conversations has only been this short starting this year at 7 minutes to 30 minutes each call. Before that....each...

I feel like she's terrible drug to me. If I can slowly cut her out of my life and then I have to visit her again because of some serious problem maybe, it would feel like everything is crashing down again. It might even make the problem worse, or I might even completely relapse. I have no way of...

Yes I agree with you She Cat, I think it's just not how I want to feel. At some level inside myself I know they're just words and if I can disconnect myself from her enough or take the meaning away from the words then they won't hurt me as much. It's like if a random stranger on the street was...

Yes! So far everything you've said sounds exactly like what I would've been told to do in therapy. I've been trying adult coloring books and it does mentally soothe. My problem is, I'll do it for a little bit then go back to worrying. But like you said it, you just have to do it and maybe...

I JUST learned about your phrase this past year from my therapist, that you can earn your child's love but they do not owe us anything. When he said it, I even debated him constantly it wasn't morally right to abandon my mother or to treat her anything less than what a child should treat their...

I want to say my mother was recommended to see a psychologist when I was 9 years old. That was when the messy divorce happened. She was extremely hesitant to go but her primary physician and I urged her to go. Before the session she had a meltdown, she hated the thought of talking about her...

There's a lot of great people on here that can relate to me, it's wonderful to know one's not alone!

Thank you Ka-9!

Hi everyone! I'm a 25 year old woman that has and still suffers from a lot of childhood trauma. Growing up, I was abused physically and mentally by my alcoholic mother. We will are in close contacts daily and I hope one day I'll be able to heal from this constant fears I have. I'm currently have...

Yes you're right there is no "normal relationship" with her. Every time I call her or see her, my boyfriend and I actually plan activities of what we're doing during the entire 8-10 hours we'll be up there. We make it so we're constantly doing "fun family stuff." Like shopping with mom, making...

I am also a very private person, I never thought I would have to open up to a therapist about my life. I never thought anyone would be able to help me because therapy didn't make sense at the time. I pushed away some Mostly everything you say, sounds exactly like my boyfriend. He also has tried...

I'll definitely check him out, thank you.

Seeing her once a week is definitely TOO MUCH...i just saw her yesterday and it was a mixture of good and some bad. Basically the entire time I'm with her I'm taking her to places, window shop, groceries, pretend to do the mom and daughter hang out day. Even so, the entire day basically, I have...

It feels like constant hell, I just visited her yesterday. There was some good but some bad. I'm too involved in her life, like everyone says. I hear she's getting picked on by some men that are her neighbors, younger kids 25ish, my age. She responds by flipping them off or glaring at them...

Yes I really want to do that. But many times I just chicken out because I'm that afraid of the consequences. Which equals to her just yelling, disowning me for couple days. My boyfriend just tells me, let her do that then, shut off your phone wait, she needs ti learn her lesson etc..

I'll definitely try that out! Thank you.

When you say diary, did you mean making regular posts every once in a while?

Thank you, he is a good guy. He comes down with me every weekend to visit her, because he wants to make sure I'm okay, and she's "behaving" herself. I really wish I found this forum a long time ago, or even started therapy a while back, instead of starting now. I'm currently seeing a LICSW...

Yes, as a child hearing those, "I hate you, I wish I aborted you, let's die together, you are the cause for my loneliness, depression etc," seemed so normal to hear. I taught myself, that it was really my fault for all those things. It's just as traumatizing hearing it now as an adult.... You...

Yes I feel the exact same way. I get so anxious it gives me a upset stomach and nearly a heart attack. Suicide pops into my mind many times but I know it's not reasonable to do something like that. My boyfriend has been trying to engrain into my head, this world is a very big place, there are a...