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This is just f****ng horrible. I feel as i’m right back where I started & everything is happening all over again

I know this is a year old, almost exactly the same day as last year which is crazy. Anybody who posted on here feel like hearing me out? Clearly I'm back. So you all should know what this means :(

Hi guys, Time for my sob story update. The wedding was fine, he never showed up. But, the fact that it was open bar, everyone kept asking me where he was and my, anger - it got the best of me. I ended up texting him angrily after. I said "I am so f**king pissed off at you its not even funny...

Its been a while my loves! SO much has happened since I last posted, and the wedding is in 3 days!! He has used and abused and taken advantage of me a little more after the last time I wrote on here, and just last thursday I told him enough was enough and lost my chill. Hes texted me maybe 6...

I'm so hurt all over again. Its like when i see the calls or texts, i feel so empowered like YES I DID IT, i didnt answer or respond! But then later on, it hits me. Like right now, all i want to do it talk to him even when I know I shouldn't. I know it would make things harder for me and that...

I just looked through some. But my thing is if he is "protective" of people close to him, why the hell has he done what he has. & pushed me to where he has. I know I can't fully understand because I don't suffer from what he does, but it is just so confusing. Especially because he said he...

Hypervigilence? What exactly is that & what would that cause?

i feel like i sound like a broken record player, i’m sorry i keep bothering

Well, yesterday morning i woke up to two more missed calls at 6:30am and a text saying “just calling to see if you’re doing okay” ???? yes guys i know i should block him but there are actually things that don’t allow me to at this moment in time. i didn’t answer his calls nor did i respond to...

Just wanted to give a tiny update as i’m feeling so proud of myself today! I woke up to TEN MISSED CALLS from him, beginning at 5:30am up until 6:30am. Literally 10. Then i checked my texts and had a text from him saying “I’m drunk and i miss you” two hours pass and he goes to my mothers...

I'm reeling from the disappointment, and the feeling of being used too, B.J. You're not alone in this, I'm here for you. We deserve better and WE ARE BETTER. It'll take time to really believe that, but once we do, nobody will ever be able to take that away from us again.

I just went and re read almost this entire thread. You guys are my life savers. I come here when i'm feeling lost, and confused, uneasy and you all smack me back into reality. I'm honestly probably going to sound like a sap for this but i really wish I could meet all of you and hug you all...

ITS SO HARD to not feel pressured sometimes. Like I am expected to do something when it comes to him, and I simply just dont want to anymore. I feel, and as you all KNOW, that i've done all i can and have gone above and beyond. Probably even more than that. Im exhausted. I just want to have a...

AMEN. wow that explanation spoke life into me. I didn't think I was personally doing that, as far as basing things off him or his feelings, but i guess I am. Why should I be concerned with whether or not he is going, will be civil or not etc. I can only be concerned with myself and my...

Guys I just found out we're listed on the seating arrangements to be next to each other. I still shouldnt reach out and talk to him about it? I've never been in this situation i have no idea what to do. TRUST me, i want to not have to speak to him. But now im not so sure i shouldnt?

How long should i wait? The wedding is on feb 24th. Also, i know a lot could happen between then and now. & if we dont speak at all, how can I even just randomly bring that up?

Need some advice. So i have a wedding coming up in 3 weeks. The Groom is my friend of many years. All of my friends are going, well a majority. However, my ex (the sufferer) was also invited because he has become friends with my friends as well as the groom. I've been trying to stay away from...

Welp, he called me again this morning at 5:45am. I answered. He was like, hi -i said hi - he said are you okay? & i said yes why? & he was like I had a really bad dream and had a bad feeling and wanted to make sure you were okay, and i said yes I'm fine. He was then like okay, well i miss...

How do you think i’m supposed to ease my way back in as friends? he has told me he wanted to be alone and then goes back and forth. you said you do this right? what’s your purpose for it? why do you do it? i feel like a fcking idiot for still even asking these kind of questions but it’s just...

you guys are all right and deep down i know that. i really honestly and truly do. i’m just so heartbroken. i know i need to keep my mind occupied and busy and stuff i’m just so damn hurt. how can he play this game with me? treat me like i’m disposable and some puppet. & why have i been so...

I’m just so confused. 3 days ago he wanted nothing to do with me, wanted to be “alone” said I would not hear from him for a while and now this. It’s like i get the whole wanting to know if we would be at the same place or making sure it was okay and stuff but what’s with all the extra stuff...

Ugh, update guys. So we have mutual friends and it was one of their birthdays last night and out of nowhere i get a text from him saying “will i see you tonight” and i didn’t respond in 60 seconds and he was calling me so i answered. on the phone he was like “hey i texted you, did you not...

A friend of mine brought him up and i feel like im losing it. WTF

Thank you so much! As i've said I go back and forth, but since I first started this thread, I can tell how much i've learned and used that and applied it to my life and my situation. Hopefully I can keep applying it and not lose faith.

EXACTLY. It is heartbreaking, that he has done this. I know not all of it is his fault, but he retreats to that aspect of his life by knowing that i'll in a way accept it because of his PTSD issues he does have. But sometimes, too far is still, too far. I think he expects me to just be there...