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  1. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    The light is good 😊 I'm not seeing it yet. Too much has happened. I'm still at the relationship trauma vs missing the woman I love, so it's very early days and I admit that I'm not feeling that emotionally strong after everything that's happened. Work is busy and the TIA has physically taken it...
  2. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    Thanks for that joeylittle 🙂 We used to live with her Schizotypal issues but I always wondered where the short fuse and extreme anger came from. The anger itself was always psychotic. She would change her stance, her voice (her voice didn't change because of shouting. No, it changed into...
  3. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    Interesting! I had a bipolar kind of existence for years. I gave up everything which would change my brain chemistry; coffee, cigarettes, tea, and alcohol. It made a difference in a couple of weeks! Aspartame is very bad for your digestion and colon cancer is a genuine risk! Being hurt now that...
  4. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    I wonder if I am in the midst of similar feelings as you even though the situation is a little different. It sounds like our partners have brought us to the same place of questioning, what if's and trying to make sense of the senseless even though you know and I know it will hurt us more. Love...
  5. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    She was diagnosed years ago with Schizotypal and roads are a trigger back to a car accident she was in. She refuses to cross roads on many occasions and, whilst it is totally impractical, I can understand why. Because of the Schizotypal she hears voices, sees connections between things, receives...
  6. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    So can it be understood as having a bad day every day? The explosions used to happen about once a month but more recently they were happening almost every day. I have genuinely looked at myself to make sure I'm not to blame. Maybe I'm missing something obvious as she told me she wasn't like this...
  7. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    That's sad and very human at the same time. How are you now? I'm amazed that the human race is still here given it's well crafted ability to destroy itself! If we could conquer jealousy and blame, maybe we would be in with a chance. A hug back to you...
  8. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    I did that several times but she never gave a straight answer. I told her I would be happy working together with a therapist with her (when she and the therapist wanted me there too for some sessions) so we could find out how to navigate this thing together. I was going to pay for it as the NHS...
  9. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    I think we have similar views on the exquisite vulnerability which is genuine love. It is almost a form of sacrifice. I do think it is the natural way for the woman to choose the man and if people examined their own relationship they might find it's true of them too. What happened regarding the...
  10. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    The one thing I just don't get is that she is genuinely loving and gentle when everything is okay but as soon as the slightest, little, tiny thing happens she changes. The change takes about 2 minutes from lovely to monster and I can see it happening each time. In fact everyone who knows her can...
  11. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    I guess with unexpected flirting the person doing the flirting has to accept that it won't necessarily be the right time for the person he or she is attempting to flirt with. How do you feel about being flirted with when you are expecting it, enjoying the attention from someone you are...
  12. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    Thanks for that 🤗 Thank you scout86. I didn't consider she was actually choosing to do something so horrible. Well, that's not strictly true. I'm cursed with being a Heyoka Empath (and I mean cursed right now) so felt the anger and sensed the free choice in her behavior BUT I couldn't believe...
  13. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    Thanks for that Friday. I'm over in the UK but courts and the police are pretty much the same the world over. The first lawyer I had was worse than useless so I now have one who is a self confessed police hater and prosecution hater and loves nothing better than to rip them apart in court! This...
  14. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    Thanks Sweatpea76. It's what she told me. She told me it's not her fault and it's my responsibility to make sure I don't trigger her.
  15. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    Since I told her that I had to end things because of her anger towards me she has sent so many abusive messages including threats to call the police again! I should add that I was already arrested and put in police cells for seven hours because she told them I assaulted her twice. The odd thing...
  16. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    I lived in the house with her and the others and I never saw her do it to anyone else. I also asked them if she ever did attack them and they confirmed she had not. The way she loses it was really always scary to see. Her voice changes to a much lower pitch and she speaks in a hiss like way in...
  17. H

    General A question for anyone having to live with CPTSD

    My beautiful ex-woman has CPTSD. I tried, and tried and I tried some more. I loved her, I was practical, etc.. No doubt you've heard this all before! Eventually I no longer had the emotional strength to deal with the constant verbal attacks and destructive way she lived her life but there is...
  18. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    I walked away from the woman I love today. I know she is badly effected by CPTSD. I understand she wants to get better and in her moments of not being scared, confused or triggered by even the most innocent of things, she is the warm, beautiful, loving woman I so enjoy being with, but her CPTSD...
  19. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    Oh, I forgot to say that this happened 5 minutes after she texted me saying how much she loved me. Pathos?
  20. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    Update: She called to explain her recent silence was because her son is stressing her out. Within 5 minutes she was shouting a tirade of abuse down the phone. That was all I needed to know. She will never change while I am part of her. I am out now. It is not down to me any more. It doesn't...
  21. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    Hey Guys, Thanks for the last few messages. We did try to get back together, and she apologized and said it was all her fault. Then (what do you know?) the day after she simply ghosted me. I realize now that I don't have to be over her for the relationship to be over. It's now ended and there...
  22. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    How would it be for you if your partner were open and loving towards you? Would you be able to lean on him and maybe even sink into his loving strength? Would it help you make sense of the cancer? Or maybe even stop the cascade of negative thoughts and feelings before they took over?
  23. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    That's very interesting and I think may have helped unearth something. Although we have only been together for a year we have known each other for over 30 years and always really fancied each other as well as being very close friends. We did lose contact for 20 years though. Our friendship...
  24. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    Thanks for that arfie. Can I ask what it feels like for you when you are triggered by something your husband? H Hi Sweetpea76 😃 I know I must leave her, but I dare not leave until the police decide to drop this nonsense or take it to court in two months time. My reason is sadly one of self...
  25. H

    Relationship When it's time to leave

    That's a hard read! I'm genuinely sorry you're having to go through that 😞 My problem is largely down to being a heyoka empath. It sounds great but for me it is a double edged sword that can make life difficult. I know I need to leave my partner (although she isn't really my partner if she can...
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