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Hi Dadzilla, thank you for your message. 🙏 It's both comforting and tragic to know that you and many others also feel disconnected and empty, you have also helped me realise that even if I fathered my own children years ago, I also would probably feel disconnected from them. I do wonder if I...

I hear you arfie. My invisibility superpower was the only way I could survive my psychotic father as a child, he took out his own C-ptsd emotional dysregulation on me and my mother because he didn't know any other way and he got a sadistic kick out of it. I then spent many years dissociating and...

Thank you Teasel, I'm getting out as much as possible (I'm currently living in supported housing for homeless people, and the other residents trigger me with their nocturnal noise) and I volunteer every Friday for a charity that rebuilds donated bicycles to sell. I still find it hard to feel...

Hi all. I'm struggling with loneliness yet I fear connecting with other people. I'm realising that I have traumatic aloness stemming from my childhood, and that I've always felt disconnected and lonely. I believe this is rooted in my childhood attempts to modify my authentic self to become...

I am so pleased that my reply was helpful to you sp2007. Hopefully you can convince him that you will not tolerate receiving any forms of abuse from him or anybody. Regarding burying anger, for me it has never been a healthy coping mechanism, it will have to be released at some point, especially...

Hi sp2007. Your post resonates with me because I see similarities in the bebaviour of your ex partner and behaviours that my father suffered from. I have also suffered with emotional numbness caused by dissociating from way back in my childhood, my life seems like a surreal dream, a black...

I hope you are successful with your quest my friend! I'll be interested to know how you get on with it all.

Thank you hypervigilant 🙏 I'm not sure if the NHS will make much difference, as you know, the long term effects of trauma can require years of unlearning unhelpful mindsets and behavioural patterns, not something that a few weeks of CBT/CAT therapy can rectify. Also, if our society is broken...

Thank you all, I found some wisdom in brokenpony's reply about not doing things to feel good, but feeling worse if you don't do them. And I really relate to Weemie with the avolition. Example: it's taken me a month to reply!!! Lol. The avolition really sucks, I think it's linked to my belief in...

Sadly, as children we had no idea that the toxic environment/lack of healthy emotional support was damaging our sense of self-value, there was nothing to compare the experience to. As well as abandonment and self-abandonment issues, i also have dependency issues and difficulty with understanding...

Thank you all for your help. Maybe my problem is more to do with blunted emotions caused by trauma/dissociation. I stopped using cannabis last December, so I have only just started to realise that my life has been a succession of one trauma after another (with the occasional 'win' along the...

Thank you all for replying. I know that I dissociated as a boy to survive my psychopathic father's wrath, my mother was unable to help, so I had to learn to be invisible. I've used the weed and porn over the years as a codependent way of feeling good because inside I'm full of self loathing. I...

Hi everyone, anybody here with experience of anhedonia? I've been like it since 2010 and I'm not sure if it's caused by childhood trauma or a worn out dopamine reward system caused by years of heavy weed smoking and self soothing with porn. P.s. I gave up on the coping mechanisms last year, but...