Recent content by AllisonStern

No, I wasn’t under medical supervision. I was under supervision though. That’s a good point. I appreciate the feedback. I’ll make sure to talk to a professional.

I have been trying to remember my childhood for a while now. I had suspected some kind of CSA had happened but I couldn't pinpoint who or where and only had fuzzy details like body memories, out of place events, and missing memory. I took psychedelics and was put in a state to remember. Some...

Cops can be f*cked. My report was similarly dismissed, and the detective painted me to be a slut that wanted violent sex and then cried rape. He also claimed that the boy in the case had never met me (even though earlier in the report it said I showed him texts we had exchanged). Turns out the...

I was reading your post and got to the point about listening to songs about sexual violence over and over and flashed back to listening to "Rape Me" by Nirvana on repeat when I got the police report back from my rape. Your post is super relateable. It's comforting knowing I'm not alone in these...

Hello all, it's been awhile since I've posted because I've been doing better. But I've been experiencing some pretty heavy symptoms the last few days. Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex I dissociated really badly because of being triggered and couldn't say no. I couldn't really...

A tasty smoothie! ramen cream cheese spinach anchovies

I wasn't sure if this belongs here, but I thought it most topically fit here. Has anyone noticed that they experienced psychotic symptoms after a trauma? Or that certain flashback triggers trigger psychosis for you? I've noticed that mirrors seem to be a huge trigger for psychosis when I...

I get this! My previous rape happened in slow motion (probably aided by the drugs) but my adult rape happened in what felt like seconds. So fast, in fact, I have trouble recalling a lot of details because it felt like everything happened at once. I don't have any clue why that was though. What...

@Skywatcher See, that's what I was thinking. I feel like she's not being straight with me and going about this backward, but I'm not the professional... I don't know how many years she's been practicing (she's senior staff at my university's counseling program) but I know she's a social worker...

I've hit a rough spot in therapy where I feel like we're at a place where it's nonproductive. This is the first therapist I've had that I felt I clicked really well with and she is a really good support, but we're now at this place where I feel like I'm coming in every week just talking about my...

Contact your local rape/sexual assault crisis center (a quick internet search should work). They deal with abusive relationships as well. They can walk you through how to get to a place where you're safe. It's 100% anonymous unless you don't want it to be. Get out as fast as you can though...

Recently I was raped for the second time and because I knew what it was and because I talked to some close friends about what to do I came to the decision of reporting. On Monday I have a formal interview with a detective, but I feel like I'm getting all the details muddled up in my head...

I didn't really know where to put this so I figure it best fit here. My parents had a MESSY divorce. One where my father was abusive towards my mother (at least verbally and psychologically). I was thrown in the middle of it where I became a weapon and an informant and a pawn for both parents...

@lillesnille Thank you for your reply. I’m not in any immediate danger (that I know of, no threats of violence, etc). I’m currently doing some of the things you mentioned but your ideas are really really good. I hadn’t considered maybe adjusting my sleeping schedule for sleeping during the day...

I feel so paranoid every night. I just moved into a new place and my Landlord is renovating so I don’t have any roommates at the moment. I get so scared and on alert every night where I have to triple check all the locks to make sure someone isn’t in the house. I constantly feel like someone’s...