Recent content by Beelady

I have a great therapist that B & I saw for the last few years. He recognized B and that B was putting his own problems onto me - it was amazing to have a therapist that did not believe his bad mouthing me. (We went to many over the years). Later I found out that my therapist went to a state...

For the last few years B would reference me as his wife. It always made me feel good (41 and never married) It made me feel wanted and because our relationship was so up & down, I craved anything that made me feel good. To finally be legally married, have the rush that everything was going to be...

I did not think of it like that - and you are right!

Tomorrow I go to court to change my name back to my maiden name. Since we were only married 5 days I feel weird about everything. I am still having folks that don't know me well congratulate me on getting married :( I am angry at B and upset with everything that happened. Still, though I am...

Thank you Ragdoll Circus :) Took it easy this week. I think the anniversary stuff is hitting harder than I thought. My birthday this weekend. Then anniversary of Dad passing. All of the 1 year ago today stuff - I get waves of how I felt 1 year ago and it sure takes a toll. Feeling like I could...

You didn't offend Mytime. I appreciate it. Hate my rollercoaster feelings. I so much wanted to believe in Tim. With what Ben put me though I thought Tim was a gift. Now I am looking at the 1st year anniversaries coming up - Tim did this on Bens birthday, my birthday is sunday, my dads...

When I went to Rays viewing it hit me. He was a singer and they had his music playing. The the sting - it was held in the same place as my best friend./lil brothers service and my Dads viewing. That hurt too. Parking the vehicle brought back a lot of emotions. Now I ache to be back with Tim...

Well to update this one too... Tim is now engaged to his ex. WTF. I can't believe he promised me the world, promised to marry me someday all of these things and within one week is engaged to his ex :( Aren't I worth more than that :'( He gave me compliment throughout our relationship -...

Well..........now I feel sick again. Tim and his ex are now engaged. How does that even happen? How on earth can he kick me out and be engaged within one week :( I just want to throw up and crawl back into bed :'(

being here to vent really helps. I am going crazy inside. Crazy about all of he ben stuff, why haven't I been able to be in a healthy relationship - then this with Tim is just the topper. I am the common piece and I've tried so hadr to be loving, giving and have a healthy relationship. My...

He did it. He stopped with the psych meds and cut down his oxy - then he was having spasms so he brought his oxy up a little. Then we had this bog blow up and he kicked me out :( Now that I have had time to think, he really made his side of the story terrible. Putting blame/anger on me that he...

Oh no Casey! WTH

He had those for PTSD I believe. The oxy was for his chronic pain

I should also say he has a lot of trouble sleeping - which certainly does not help and deals with chronic pain, tennis elbow...the list goes on. He tells me he cannot go into REM sleep. Sometimes I wonder if he was too absorbed in his medical stuff, not to be mean however the list was long. I...

I am still trying to make sense of someones (Tims) behavior. He has been on a LOT of meds - Cyclobenzaprine, Oxy, Clonazepam, Ambien and a few others. 2 meds for depression he had stopped taking in the week before his outburst. He was also cutting down on his Oxy. Then he started taking he...