Recent content by Booknerd

My husband and I went out to eat and a movie. It has been years since I've been to a movie. I've come a long way. Of course, I was nervous and made a point for us to sit in the first seats by the door. My husband didn't fuss about It. I stayed in my seat the entire time and enjoyed the movie...

My Mother was one of our sexual abusers. My sister and I tried for years to get some kind of closure and we never got it. She denied it to her grave. She was an alcoholic and had blackouts. I do believe if someone is under the influence of drugs or alcohol may in truth forget it, incident is a...

I've been on it for a few years. Now I'm on 4mg because of recent situation. I can sleep without waking up screaming and I consider that a plus. I do dream but not the flashbacks. In my case it's been a Godsend.

I think I will do the same thing. This shame from overeating is depressing

I too use food as a coping mechanism. When I was little, there wasn't food in the house much of the time. We didn't have money for food but she had money for segrams 7 and Pall Mall golds. My sister and I sneaked away and picked any fruit we could find. When there wasn't any we dug out all the...

@Snowwhite, thank you for your kind words. This morning, they are truly a balm to my low self esteem. Thank you Thank you! :)

I have developed a skill of writing poems. My therapist suggested art therapy and I began writing phrases beside drawing. That is how I started. Also I make jewelry, read, cross stitch, and attempt to train my dogs tricks. I feel guilty for becoming lost in my coloring pages because I totally...

I have problems going places by myself. Walmart and SAMs are my biggest problem. I go to to stores:Ingles and Kelly's Pharmacy with minimal stress level. I had to run in to Walmart for something. I was at the edge. I put a sucker in my mouth and just kept my mind on what it felt like and how...

I understand how you feel. I was molested several times by my pediatrician. Every time I had to go, my mother would sit in his office and I was alone with him. when he was done, my mother and him would have drinks. He kept vodka in his water carafe on his desk. My mother thought she was so...

The feeling of safety. Not having to make up lies. Knowing that I could count on food being provided

Thank you! This will help very much. I have used essential oils for a headache or in the bath. I think I will find one of my favorite rocks and carry a ziplocked bag of some essential oil.

I don't possess the emotional flexibility to be strong enough to allow myself to be vulnerable. And therein lies the problem. Those of us that have survived horrors are strong. We survived. But to be vulnerable or "open" is not a pit that I am willing to fall into again. I can't even...

I have been away, but I am back now. Can I join in?

Thank you Maddog, gizmo, and nimkekaa. Reading the replies and taking them to heart.

I watched Hoarders and saw a woman on there that said "I did the best I could with what I had to do it with" STRESSOR! My mother used that phrase all the time to excuse her behavior and abuse. "I did the best I could with what little I had to do it with." I must have heard it a trillion...