Recent content by ByrnesT

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    Relationship Am i naive??

    Thank you @Mytime & all the very best New Year wishes to you too
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    Relationship Am i naive??

    Hi @Mytime . To be honest I’m taking a break from this site right now but as you’ve been kind enough to write I don’t want to come across rude & ignore you. I totally understand all of what you’re saying & absolutely this is obviously how my ex saw things. Yes when you look at it from the...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    Before I go from here, I know she cannot read it now but maybe someone could relay the message, @Rain was not the person I was accusing of attacking me. In fact, in this thread I defended her right to have her point of view & say what she felt. I also made it clear I agreed with a lot of what...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    @mumstheword thank you. Just thank you. I can’t tell you how much the fact you’re listening is a huge comfort. This whole thread here has broken me. I came to understand & question myself & get some support, but this has ended up putting me in the worst of places. And not for the first time...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    Thanks for being so amused @EveHarrington . If I remember correctly it wasn’t your diagnosing that upset myself or other people. It was your insistence that I was diagnosing when it was made clear I wasn’t. I’d recommend thinking a little before you type again please.
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    @Rain I am not commenting on you in the slightest I promise. I don’t know you. And I’ve acknowledged how things could have easily been misinterpreted. But there were a lot of things in your initial post that were very far off the mark that’s all, so I corrected those. If I keep going over those...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    Yes @Justmehere I’m absolutely here to get feedback on choices I have made. And I am absolutely taking them on & making genuine efforts to work on them. As soon as I’ve learnt something new, however tough, I’ve began to at least try put this into place with immediate effect. Not perfect yet but...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    Thanks @Rain i will do. I only started to look into these issues of codependency etc this last week so it’s all still very new stuff to me. I only found this website about 5 or so weeks ago, since then I’ve shared, read & learnt a hell of a lot, I’ve started therapy & even joining that dating...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    @Justmehere A lot of what you say is absolutely right. By tolerating a lot of her behaviour I have been contributing. But this is something I’ve had to learn about literally in only the last couple of weeks. I’ve been drowning on my own in all this for a very long time not knowing what I’m...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    Not at all @Rain . I’m here for people to be honest & if that’s how you read it then you had to go with that. Not gonna pretend it was an easy read! There were things in there that even my sufferer hasn’t accused me of, & I thought she’d accused me of everything!! Haha And I hope you don’t feel...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    Thanks everyone as always. I will to what other people have said when I have a little more time. But I’m sorry @Rain you have really got the wrong end of the stick of this whole situation. That’s not denial I can promise you. You have read this all wrong. Now I have made mistakes in maybe...
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    Relationship Have i messed up? or am i taking positive steps?!

    Well I don’t really know whether I’ve made a terrible mistake here or whether I’ve taken positive steps & to hell with the consequences. For anyone who has read my posts will know I met my sufferer over 2.5 years ago. Her childhood trauma has been untreated (bar just a few sessions as a...
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    Relationship Why do sufferers sometimes never keep their word

    @krisss yes I have spent 2.5 years making excuses for my sufferer (I didn’t even get the “honeymoon period”!), because I believe she is unwell. I don’t think that has done either of us any favours. It was all with the best of intentions cos I wanted to believe in her. But I forgave too much. I...
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    Relationship Why do sufferers sometimes never keep their word

    @krisss I’m not sure I can say much to help as such & I obviously don’t know all the details of your situation or the regularity of this problem, but I can say I might understand some of where you’re coming from. My sufferer was making plans with me only to turn up several hours late or, more...
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    Relationship This is a rant - save yourselves & look away now!

    Thanks again for all the messages. Again, I’m so grateful & wish there was the time to speak to you all properly. Each thread of the conversation, each experience shared & all the questions everyone has asked, I wish I could follow them all through like they deserve. I’m genuinely interested to...
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