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Chelsie
Life is a beautiful mess that I chose to live because I chose not to let PTSD remove me from those I love dearly. I will defeat you PTSD and I will win! My determination is great and I've lived with you a long time but I have chosen to improve my life, my relationships and my ability to cope from this point forward! I want to be an inspiration to others and grow from the inspiration others are to me.
I've lived life with a gruff exterior, letting few in to see the real me and some think they've seen the "real me" when they've only seen the little I chose to share with them. I used to be out going and I still am to a certain degree but things became harder to deal with because I've tried to deal with it on my own for way too long. I've realized dealing with it alone is NOT the way to go! It becomes more difficult to survive and I intend on doing just that...surviving this!
I've always been very direct and blunt and most don't know how to take that so please let me know if I ever offend you because that's not my intention...EVER! My heart is full of love and compassion for others but I just have a crappy outlook of myself because of things I've been through. I intend to change that in time. I'm currently starting EMDR therapy and I've created my happy place! It's a beautiful place where nobody and nothing can ever harm me. It may be imaginary but it's very real to me when I go there. Unfortunately I can't live there in real life but man....wouldn't that be awesome! lol
This world isn't comprised of the love and kindness that once existed...it's too few and far between anymore but I hope to share as much love and kindness here as humanly possible. As well as things I'm struggling with at times.
I know a lot of people assume that only people who've served in the military can have PTSD (I've been shunned by some) which set off a trigger reaction with me. However, I have sat here wondering why nobody ever saw what was going on with me as a child. Was I invisible, was I that good at hiding what was happening? I know I made bad choices as I grew up because I didn't care about what happened with me because of what happened to me. However, I never asked to be molested, beaten, tortured, raped, sexually abused, verbally abused, or mentally abused. I always loved with all my heart but yet there were those who chose to trample on that with their hate. Yet I survived. So far, everything that's been thrown at me, I've survived, even through a horrific car accident, I survived. I figure that God has a plan for me and he's not finished with me yet!
Love to all!
I've lived life with a gruff exterior, letting few in to see the real me and some think they've seen the "real me" when they've only seen the little I chose to share with them. I used to be out going and I still am to a certain degree but things became harder to deal with because I've tried to deal with it on my own for way too long. I've realized dealing with it alone is NOT the way to go! It becomes more difficult to survive and I intend on doing just that...surviving this!
I've always been very direct and blunt and most don't know how to take that so please let me know if I ever offend you because that's not my intention...EVER! My heart is full of love and compassion for others but I just have a crappy outlook of myself because of things I've been through. I intend to change that in time. I'm currently starting EMDR therapy and I've created my happy place! It's a beautiful place where nobody and nothing can ever harm me. It may be imaginary but it's very real to me when I go there. Unfortunately I can't live there in real life but man....wouldn't that be awesome! lol
This world isn't comprised of the love and kindness that once existed...it's too few and far between anymore but I hope to share as much love and kindness here as humanly possible. As well as things I'm struggling with at times.
I know a lot of people assume that only people who've served in the military can have PTSD (I've been shunned by some) which set off a trigger reaction with me. However, I have sat here wondering why nobody ever saw what was going on with me as a child. Was I invisible, was I that good at hiding what was happening? I know I made bad choices as I grew up because I didn't care about what happened with me because of what happened to me. However, I never asked to be molested, beaten, tortured, raped, sexually abused, verbally abused, or mentally abused. I always loved with all my heart but yet there were those who chose to trample on that with their hate. Yet I survived. So far, everything that's been thrown at me, I've survived, even through a horrific car accident, I survived. I figure that God has a plan for me and he's not finished with me yet!
Love to all!
