Recent content by chibmonster

I know i haven't posted in awhile, ive been getting medical stuff together and just haven't been up to it. Emotions are still very gone and its the worst, no sexual drive what so ever yay effects of sexual assault. Crappy part is my relationship is on the rocks. my Partner he isn't the most...

First off the PTSD has destroyed my creativity....:cry:. But i do still try to do what i used to and can it just doesn't have the soul behind it. But all ive ever been able to do is artsy things draw, paint, sculpt, sing, dance, perform and any thing i put my mind to. But with the emptiness its...

im open with my partner of course, but my family it is odd i guess they just ignore all bad things and smile and do nice things for everyone wile they get stabbed in the back by everyone. so trying to tell them was odd cuz it was a bad thing still do it cuz their family and they tell me all...

The reason i broke down and finally stopped functioning was adult rape, but it was far from the first time i was raped by the person just the worst and in front of people, and not the first few people when i was 18 was horrible i just am good at forgetting and going on. But when i was a kid my...

i used to love playing games and got really into them, and i kept trying to play cuz me and my partner played together right before everything hit really hard i got Wildstar cuz Elderscrolls had lost the community but even though i have a very pretty fun game i have no drive to play. at least i...

i was raped repeatedly by one person who i thought was a friend but was manipulated by words and alcohol till i was black out drunk but then again he was mad at his wife for cheating on him i was not the first person he did this to.,After i finally got out from the a last straw thing happening...

I have told him i tell him everything that i can so he can understand, kind of... ive been having flashbacks for awhile this is the first ive had i didn't remember. Hopefully its just a sign of facing stuff.-chibi

Chibi...ya that's what they call me. ive been in a relationship for 10 years and i love cats and i can draw and dance. i have a lot of medical problems like epilepsy since i was 12, had cancer at lest it was able to be cut out, endemitriosiss, gallbladder is now gone, going to physical therapy...

i was laying in bed with my partner telling him i felt bad cuz he had wanted sex again and something pop-ed up in my head, a lil memory of before when he had just went a lil to far during sex a few times we had already talked about forgave but that was before, and i mentioned it because maybe...

i take it but it takes hours to actually work, then i wake up a few hours later from nightmares, pain or cats. but at least i get some sleep. i need to sleep some of i have seizures. hope it helps it at least cheep.-chibi

I honestly wish i didn't understand this. but when i do anything i feel numb, as if im just a doll that goes around doing the things you are supposed to and i just watch from afar. During sex its worse because i feel none if it no pleasure no feeling just see it happening. its like im not their...

This all happens before i moved and was one of the reasons i moved. i did call a crisis hotline went to i agency long enoph for her to get to know me to confirm it was rape for 2 years, and to figure out the treatment but had to move for his job. i could do nothing in court because all people...

i also have chronic pain to the point where i need to see physical therapist and the stress and panic attacks do make them worse. i also had to stop going to school as well because of it and no one believed me, sadly the pain has only gotten a bit better with stretching and i cant even do the...

I have been in a relationship for 10 years, and i was diagnosed with PTSD after i was sexually assaulted a year ago. I had to move and and haven't been able to get any treatment and have no one to talk to except my partner but he is in grad school and always busy working. Since everything...