Things I Bueiryd

[chibmonster]

i was laying in bed with my partner telling him i felt bad cuz he had wanted sex again and something pop-ed up in my head, a lil memory of before when he had just went a lil to far during sex a few times we had already talked about forgave but that was before, and i mentioned it because maybe that was the reason it might be taking me a bit longer to be comfortable with him.
But after that had pop-ed up bothering me a scratching at the back of my mind started, i figured it was just a little some thing but no it was something that happened when i was 18 that i never told anyone and it came at me chocking me. i had forgotten i was raped not once but twice. i had buried them just so i could get on with my life. it keeps coming up. playing in my head. i have been used by so many people. and nothing stays buried.how much more have i forgotten.-chibi

 

[TXbandit]

:hug:s Chibmonster and welcome to the forum :) It sounds like you may be having flashbacks hun. Have you talked to your partner about it? It may put your mind at ease and make you both more comfortable. I know it can be hell. I have a hard time with intimacy myself because of the same thing. I find I am really nervous and can not control my thoughts sometimes.

I hope the best for you!!! Hang in there

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I know you feel about memory loss... I don't remember a lot of my life, and am unsure how I managed to forget some, but looking at the world, it's quite simple.. Brain is hella good at ignoring.

Ignoring something bad happening nearby
Ignoring bad memories
Ignoring that they didn't help, didn't do anything
Ignoring any and all stuff

Eh, you get where I'm going.

Anyway, you partner should understand you, and it's not much you should be ashamed of, it's not your fault for one!

 

[chibmonster]

I have told him i tell him everything that i can so he can understand, kind of... ive been having flashbacks for awhile this is the first ive had i didn't remember. Hopefully its just a sign of facing stuff.-chibi

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@chibmonster

Oh tiny monster :hug: It's goodthat you got a caring person, if something is bothering you, the bother is halved once shared, share it with him if you haven't, though even if he doesn't quite understand, he should see that you aren't feeling good and that it has been bothering you, he will then know you are sad, and will care more, try to see how you are feeling and understand more, try to help you. (At least thars about how I'd function in a theoretical situation, ignoring oh so many things :p)

Well, you are on road to recovery, and remember, it gets worse before it gets better :hug:s