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Recent content by chrysaliscrushed

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    Do you sometimes feel you're not human?

    Very often. I became convinced that I have no value or depth and that I can't provide anything similar to precious moments, meaningful conversations etc. Also Asperger's so no idea much what I am even
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    No desire to celebrate my own birthday

    The dreaded date is soon and i have no desire to celebrate it whatsoever. I don't care about the gifts or attention or dishes. My appetite is barely above zero and during my birthday the one who caused my life is always grumpy for any reason. Once it was because I didn't make a list of things...
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    Wishes

    I wish I didn't cry as much, sometimes over things that aren't even worth any attention
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    Atheist unite!!

    yes i think i can relate. lots of orthodox stuff happened while i was a kid (grandma a hardcore believer) i was baptized and told by grandma that mom and i should be as much believers as she is. now that mom is studying hinduism she explains all the bad things that happened to me by telling me...
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    Readers thread: what or who are you reading right now?

    Richard Dawkins, the blind watchmaker. I used to hold onto beliefs and was into into them. But I want to learn another point of view and if do agree with it then my perception of everything might shatter and I'm okay with that
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    Things I would tell myself

    Stop overthinking about your own self. Other people are more preoccupied with themselves than they are with you. The feeling of your significance is exaggerated when it comes to things such as these. Even if they do care, they have their own perception of you that has nothing to do with you.
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    If I Could I Would..

    Get wasted if i weren't clean
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    What made you feel better today?

    Filling a notebook with info on somebody of whom consists my special interest, my hand is feeling sad but the feeling of accomplishment is existent nonetheless
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    mom is slipping away and i can't get her back

    yes yes well she's been emotionally unavailable for a long time if never, now that i think about it. of course one cannot push a person towards any change if the person doesn't want that to begin with. i am kinda used to it but with other people. long story and not meant to be on here at...
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    mom is slipping away and i can't get her back

    it barely makes any difference. dead or alive either way unavailable
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    mom is slipping away and i can't get her back

    i know how frustrating it is when you're attached to someone dearly and have nothing to talk about with them. the way i learned that is not the point though. what is, is that i can barely maintain a convo with mom about basically anything because she quickly changes the topic and it always...
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    intense fear of falling down the stairs

    i am not a fan of falling over in general but the fear of tripping on staircases is unbelievable compared to the former. i am clumsy as hell and have an experience of breaking a bone due to getting stuck with one of my limbs in ice, hence the fear of walking on foot during the winter. the...
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    Last movie or tv series you watched?

    Meeting place cannot be changed (short series)
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