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I'm so happy for you that changing therapist improved your situation. Also you have no idea how much you've helped me out with explaining the symptoms showing once in safe place. Makes so much sense. Also thank you for recomendation! Definitely will order that one. Also if I can recommend...

I'm thinking of chsngin my therapist too for the same reason. I feel like we hit the wall and that's it. She told me a while back that after hearing about all the problems I'm facing / the lenght of trauma and amount of people involved in it, she's worried my issues are too deep for her to...

Honestly don't know what is my problem in that situation. Still did not figure it out. I have the opposite problem. For me if a man does not see me as sexual object I feel completely useless and disgusting. It's like the only thing I have to offer that makes me worthy is my body... But then i...

Yes. We got better relationship now. Before it was bad. I absolutely hated her and she was ashamed to have me as a daughter. There's none aside from him taking me away for a spin in a car. Then his attention is not directed at me, but the road, I get to feel more invisible and it sooth me down...

I don't think I do... If I did had an incident of being attacked then I lost any memory of that. But then my mother could be sometimes quite abusive physically. For example once when I was around 7 years old and practicing diving in the bath tup at some point when I took my head from underwater...

I have no idea tbh. It just feels like I'm slowly diving into insanity. Don't know why I'm constantly triggered, but am dreading nights lately as I've had bad attacks with delusion someone is in my house about to attack me. Can't consult that with my therapist at the moment as the country I'm in...

Hi, sorry was gone at this stage. Had another episode... Wasnt ignoring you. Will try to catch you later if you still want to talk 👍

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That'd be great

I want to die even if I'm not in the flashback. Once I'm im in a flashback that feeling just gets much stronger. I'm incapable of feeling any pleasure fpr past 8 years... even with 2 year long therapy. The only moment I feel anything it's pain and fear that's why I think it's so hard to want to...

Yesterday night was one of the worst I've had so far. Can't fully explain what has happened. I couldn't sleep and was thinking of killing myself. I'm so exausted. When I made up my mind to do it all of a sudden it felt like someone slammed me in the head with a hammer. Felt really dysregulated...

I'm not online too often to be honest, as I'm working loads, but would love to talk to you in the chat. Not sure where is the chat option in here?

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear what you went trough and are going through. 😢 Also I'm sooo insanely grateful you decided to post! It made me fell so much better knowing I'm not acting completely irrationaly (it's rational in its irrational way). My therapist is usually just telling me "your gut is not...

Thank you so much for your reply! The sentence about not being in the best state of mind to make big decisions is so helpful! I'm not doing good at all past 2 months. For a few days now I feel much younger...like I'm 13-16 (while I'm nearly 29) and definitely feel like I'm not fully here. Even...

I think only once I actually clearly felt the problem. I'm just scared, because I feel defenceless and exposed at home with him. It feels like he'll make a move insinuating he's interestes in sex at the moment or touching me... We live on our own and there's no one around and it feels like he'll...