Recent content by daisydew

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    Realized this is avoidance

    That makes sense. My therapist told me I need to stop comparing myself. I'm only 21 so I know I have time to heal and learn what I can and can't deal with. I guess even without trauma some people aren't ready for those experiences at my age and I know that's okay! It just doesn't feel okay for...
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    Realized this is avoidance

    Thanks for your reply. It's helpful to hear other people's experiences, and to know it's possible to change. I think I compare myself too much. I see other survivors who use sexual experiences as a coping mechanism or who have at least managed something, but I've never been able to push myself...
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    Realized this is avoidance

    Thank you for this, I really appreciate it! I'm very tired of not being able to do things like that and honestly, thinking of exposure as "playing with the edges" seems like it could be helpful for a lot of my triggers. Obviously I'll check with a therapist first, but this gave me a bit of hope...
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    Realized this is avoidance

    I realized this week that I think sexual intimacy is a trigger for me. I feel ashamed of it because I feel like I need to be able to perform and make others happy, but I just can't do it. Every time I've had an opportunity, I've been too scared. I wish I wasn't so weird about it, but I can't...
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    Undiagnosed CSA 8 to 18 - Disconnect between my brain and my body for so long. I crave security, intimacy, and genuine love but I shut down at the thought of it

    Welcome to the forum! I hope it's helpful to your healing journey. This is incredibly relatable. I don't remember much of my childhood--I have some CSA memories, but I always feel I could be making it up. Either way, I relate to this a lot. I'm in my early twenties as well and have a very...
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    Undiagnosed in the process of being diagnosed

    Hi, I'm fairly new as well and I've found that people are very understanding and kind. Since you're in the process of being diagnosed, I hope a proper diagnosis will help you in treatment and help mitigate the effects of what you've gone through. I'm sorry to hear your family has been...
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    Parts? Dissociation Confusion

    Oh, I hadn't realized how many people had responded to this thread. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's been very helpful to read and it's been helping me feel a lot more normal.
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    Parts? Dissociation Confusion

    That makes sense. I remember two years ago, I would let them have much more control, and I started having decent communication. Once I started suppressing them, it seems like they've vanished except every once in a while I'll lose time or get some angry thought or emotion directed at me. My...
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    Parts? Dissociation Confusion

    I think this may be the most difficult part for me. It's so hard for me to let them do anything. If I feel them coming up, my first instinct is to suppress or to monitor everything as much as possible so I can try to push myself back into control if I need to. Thank you, that's good to hear...
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    Parts? Dissociation Confusion

    Thank you! I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to write this. It means a lot to hear. Usually the stories I hear are about people who already know how to communicate, or on the other end where they don't get along or talk. I don't usually hear about learning how to actually get to a good...
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    Parts? Dissociation Confusion

    Thank you for your response. My therapist and I have talked about DID, which I think is part of what I'm worried about. I'll hear from friends that I do things that seem very out of character, and sometimes go very far inside my head if that makes sense? Like I'll "retreat" from my limbs and go...
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    Parts? Dissociation Confusion

    Just wondering if anyone has advice on this. My therapist told me it sounds like I could have dissociated parts. I've been suspecting that for a couple years, so I'm not shocked. She's recently been referring to them as maybe functioning as separate people or even having their own names. Again...
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    Undiagnosed Finally Getting Help

    Thank you! Yes, I think unfortunately some practitioners don't know what they're talking about. It's definitely gotten better, but there's so much misunderstanding surrounding trauma. 😕 Thanks for the welcome, I appreciate it!
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    Undiagnosed Finally Getting Help

    I'm not sure if I'm professionally diagnosed or not. My psychologist told me I likely had PTSD and a counselor before her told me I did, but I don't think it's on my medical record so I don't want to steal the term from people or anything. Either way, I do have trauma from childhood. I'm...
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