Recent content by DFT1

We just had a several hour long conversation. The longest, most deep and sharing conversation we have ever had in almost two and a half decades of being together. I'll come back and address all of the thoughts and comments posted here because I owe each and every single one of you so much. But...

A couple of quick notes: she hasnt had a drop to drink in almost a week. The kids do not see the violence, but she has subjected them to some messed up stuff years ago.I dont know where the 'fighting all the time' is coming from but we dont. Having said that... She had her appt with her T on...

Do you have friends or family you can call or just go hang out with? Sitting around letting your anxiety run wild is just going to drive you mad

I was talking to my suffer the other day, and she said something that implied she has been reading my posts and the replies. I didn't even realize it at the time, and even suggested she go look up Freidas posts about her experience with EMDR, but I think she has been reading my posts and the...

Take some calculated breaths. Do some guided meditation. If the potential of this relationship being over is the source of your anxiety, find a way to actually be okay with it if that happens... do what ever you need to do to take care of yourself.

I am fairly new here, but I can't help but feel this is a common trend with some of us supporters. We reach out and say something out of love, but the lack of any response makes you start over analyzing and second guessing everything you said or did because any little thing can set them off or...

Hi Trecy, Welcome to the forums. This place is chock-full of really great and supportive people that I am sure will give you some great advise and insight. I noticed something in your first post that really hit home. These are things that he struggles with that are spilling over into the...

You're probably not wrong. From what I understand, isnt there some overlap in PTSD and BPD? As in a lot of people with one have symptoms of the other, and are frequently misdiagnosed? I'm sorry you had to go through that. From the stories I have seen, without therapy/help you either have to...

Four years ago, right after the affair came to light, I was sitting in a chair and she was standing next to me and grabbed a rock/small boulder and started swinging at my head with it in her hand. She stopped herself, and I told her if she ever did anything like that again, I was done. I know...

We just had one of the longest conversations in quite some time. She didnt remember doing any of it. She got pretty upset when I went over all her actions, and she actually apologized. It seemed a bit robotic, but for her to actually admit fault was huge. Thank you for all the help. I...

Yeah, she was drinking. I have set this boundary with her so many times, or at least tried to. Just last week I tried to set one with her drinking. I told it has to stop, its getting out of control. Especially when the kids find mommy 'sleeping' where ever she passed out at. I told her that...

Actually, the whole thing was very violent. She was very rough and aggressive with grabbing the other girls breasts, and the throwing the shells down her shirt was just abusive. I mean seriously.. WTF is that? Who throws sand and shells down someone's shirt?

@LuckiLee - no, i work from home with a rather elaborate desktop computer set up. Plus, after making my daughters feel like I abandoned them (thats better now btw) I dont feel like that would be the best

Yes. To me that is violent. Imagine if a guy did that to some girl? Everyone around would speak up and stop it. But since it's my tiny little wife everyone just sat there and watchex the train wreck unfold. Thats the first time she has gotten violent like that in a long time.

Im just going to start the conversation and see how things go. Ive done this a dozen times before and she usually goes into flight mode before the conversation can even get past the first few sentances.