Recent content by dougyhowzer

I am so heartbroken to even do anything music related today or even for the weekend .

So I been in s chorale ensemble class for over a month , and we were supposed to play at showcase . But due to lack of rehearsal time , poor planning , and poor communication , we had to withdraw . I am very heart broken because I worked very hard .

I would have to say . Crowds Isolation Being condemned feeling shame

Today , I was able to honestly say to myself for the first time ever that I am proud of myself for the progress I have made in my counselling sessions and in my guitar studies .

i sometimes can't help but wonder if I am setting myself with impossible standards as a means of performance to earn which I can't obtain , and that is love . For my dysfunctional family , one of my theories regarding double standards with them is perhaps they do this because they want me to...

So I met with my counsellor recently and we talked about one of my siblings . I told him how he would get so hard on me because I couldidnt live up to his standards . This is a very common trait in the dysfunctional family I was raised in . My biological mother would be hard on me , my late...

I was doing my guitar studies this morning at a new practice space that I am thrilled to have . I can practice there from 9 am to 3 pm . One of exercises is to clap back note values and sing notes of a key as part of my ear training . While I was doing my ear training , I started crying and...

Absolutely and my hope is to apply the good things I have learned and see the impact it has .

I too can be really judgemental and hard on others . I think it's common for us that suffer from PTSD to be hard on ourselves . One thing I have tried doing is to stop and think before I react . This is of course easier said than done , more importantly getting to the root of our behaviours is...

Just want again thank everyone for their feedback . I am finding it really helps and it really got me thinking about being more positive .

Well I think the frustration of me making mistakes has to do with a sibling expecting me to be absolutely perfect . If I made an honest mistake , I would be condemned and I would feel like a broken house of cards . As for genres of music , I mainly play classical , but I also play folk every...

Thanks for mentioning that Saelben. I hav noticed that too every once in a while .

That's incredibly profound ! , but perhaps something to process . I will certainly talk to my counsellor this . Thanks

Thanks Blue Orange . It's good to get feedback on this thing . I think any sort of activity is good and normal in itself . Just that if anyone ever wanted to ask me personally if I think activities that require effort are good . I would say "meh" and not really care ,it's not really important...

Hi everyone . It's been a very long time since my last post . So it was my birthday recently and I had the privilege to play some classical guitar pieces . A chosen sister of mine recently complimented me on how well I have done and that I should be proud of the work I have put in ...