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I don't know what to write here. I am poor at navigating computers and even simple technology intimidates me. Sometimes even a can opener seems too complicated. But I wish to learn and do much more here on this site so anyone that reads this please feel free to contact or assist me.
After I found myPTSD I spent two weeks avidly reading and absorbing the words and support and then joined once I became brave enough to expose my technological inabilities and my thoughts. I empathize with all that is written and what people are feeling.
I am currently working on creating a website to help people deal with workplace trauma, bullying, mobbing, injustice and legislation in my state to put an end to, or reduce, the violence and hurt that occurs there. I do this because it seems to be the best therapy for what has happened to me. I believe that I must put one foot in front of the other as often as I am able - that if I allow myself to isolate and feed on anger and depression I invite bad things into my life.
I endured my own personal trauma - work and death related - starting about 5 years ago. I have had two workmates commit suicide, another died of a drug overdose, and one fall to his death in the workplace. Constant attacks or threats of attacks in the workplace, physical injury and limitations, family changes, isolation, death in the family; much has happened in a short time. I have many years around a twelve step program that I use to maintain my sobriety and sanity - and actually have a few years sober now - that has helped me cope.
I was told by several people, including a psychiatrist knowledgeable about workplace trauma that I have PTSD from it - being in a warfare state at work for over five years now. I haven't been officially tested or diagnosed. I'm not concerned about an official "label", nor do I want to claim to have something I don't. I don't wish to spend a lot of time on analysis. The tools, the knowledge, and the support that I have found here have drawn me like a moth to the light. No, I have not been in combat, or raped - I cannot imagine or put myself in your place - I am truly sorry for your distress. I have had my own personal trauma - perhaps somehow because I put myself in bad places, made bad decisions, or am just simply susceptible to it.
I'm learning from you people that I am not alone in my fears and isolation. I believe I can change for the better. I want to keep going forward. I want the anger, the hatred, and the bad thoughts to go away. I'd like to keep it simple. And I'd like to help others if I can.