Recent content by haltija

I have been handling PTSD really well, I think. Last night we watched a movie with a scene that got to me. I had a brutal rape dream that got to me. (After being triggered.) I snapped because I needed to be left alone to think without being bombarded in the morning. He says he won't comfort me...

Thanks, FridayJones. :D Interesting thing happened. As it turns out, I wasn't being crazy and my guy lost his job today, so everything depends on me and taking some more work right now. BUT!!! He is smart and will work it out. I'm not feeling as scared... for some reason I feel okay. I'm okay...

Thanks, all! It's a relief to know I'm not the only one who does this. I had the day off to talk to random investors and accountants, ask questions and make some decisions. I figured the best way to deal with my concerns is to eliminate the possibility of something going wrong, like a...

I am SO sorry for this long post but I just have to get it out. Things have been going well. I decided to invest in a new wardrobe that actually fit me. (Had been wearing the same hand-me-downs for years. It was time to move on from the leftovers of not-so-me but my mother's beloved Harley...

Yes!! That sounds great. I am so happy for you! I will keep updating as well. It will be GREAT to be able to get married. My guy has been so supportive and held on with me overtime, despite not being able to get married yet. I'm excited.

Sorry for my delayed response! I was so busy with work last week. @DesiretoThrive I'm glad you made the first step! Congratulations. The first step is the hardest and then it should be all downhill from there. Myself, I got the address to send the papers and he said he'll have them notarized...

That makes sense, MomOfTwo! It sounds like I'm going to have to do it a lot more. I think maybe playing ball this weekend with him would be good for the both of us.

I think the answer here is really simple. I have PTSD. She really might just want some space for a week or so. I think it's common for people with PTSD to feel smothered at times. I understand that's hard, but she might come to you when she's ready. If she doesn't, then it might be time to ask...

Yes, it is. I couldn't feel anything for a very long time. I started to feel like I almost wasn't human or whenever I tried to feel something, my chest would get really tight. I spent a lot of time trying to self-diagnose and figure out what it was. I wish I could tell you what helped me get...

Thank you everyone. @DesiretoThrive I completely understand your story. It is so hard and terrifying. I believe that in most states, if you don't have contact with the guy and they're unable to serve them directly, they will try to find him by putting an ad in the newspaper. Typically, if...

Thank you! :) Sorry for my lack of clarification, Lucycat. That's my bad! American thing. :) He's doing really well for himself, but what I meant was we live in different areas in the country. I feel really good about the whole thing and once he gets my message, I know he will too. It's...

Last night, I had a breakdown but in that time I realized that although I was traumatized, I was traumatized because my ex was. He had his own PTSD after going overseas and self-medicated with a drug that was very dangerous. He had literally lost his mind and has apologized. He has since then...

Thank you, Solara. I totally understand what you're saying. It would just be helpful to just move on the way you want to, but I understand sometimes people can't let things go. I understand that he cares and has good intentions, but I just need to be able to let go and move forward. I reported...

Update: He contacted him last year and all of his friends and now the guy apparently announced both of our names all over the freaking internet claiming that I'm a whore and we had a relationship. There is a ton of shit about me being a "whore" and not knowing how to keep my legs closed. He...

Thanks all. As long as the jerking/shaking is part of the healing process, then I'll take it. It was something I had never experienced before and it was a little bit terrifying. The person asking was my guy and now I'm more worried about him. I have had THAT ONE buried for a while and I don't...