Recent content by KayW

I think everyone is different. I have accepted that I am affected by abuse but there are some details that I'm not ready to look at. At the moment, my mental health is pretty good and I feel if I did open myself up to those details, that it wouldn't be. It might be that something in life will...

My relationships were very different. 1. Loud, arguing, physical abuse and some SA. I didn't think it was real abuse at the time because I would argue back and until the last few times, the arguments led to violence. 2. Emotionally/mentally abusive, socially controlling, financially...

I don't have the answers for you as it's something I've not overcome myself. I had repeated traumas into my early thirties. I haven't had any more for many years now, but that's because I don't let anyone close - seeing the line between letting someone close, letting myself feel loved and cared...

This describes perfectly how I experience symptoms. Alongside that, acceptance of trauma having been part of my life has helped me accept myself more and accept the strengths I've developed because of (not despite) trauma. Before that, I used to fight against it and always wound up feeling...

I believe in energies of nature, life, universe. I can't really explain it, but it plays an important part in my life. I do believe that some other presence has been with me and helped me through the most difficult times.

In child development, the child moves away from reliance on parents and towards reliance on peers to develop their sense of self. This happens around adolescence and I think is visibly seen in high schools as teenagers moving into distinct social groups. I think Eric Erikson was a guy that came...

This seems to explain it well. I wrote this over 6 months ago and I do feel stronger now than I did then and I tend to feel more connected to some traumatic events, not all, but I guess that will come when the time is right. Dissociation is a form of avoidance. But I would differentiate the...

I've got a few journals, one for creative writing or poems, one for dreams or stuff that I haven't made sense of, one for stream of consciousness writing.This is like my own therapy, it helps me find things that are hidden in my unconscious and creativity helps me express emotions and thoughts...

A couple of threads recently have reminded me how bad things had got before I was diagnosed. It's almost like part of trauma because it's part of my life that is with another part of me. I'd been attacked in my house first, then a few months later when I tried to stop contact with him, he...

I think it is probably helpful to let people closest to you know, but it's their responsibility to learn a bit more about it. But you don't have to explain how you came to develop PTSD. I repeatedly experienced traumas without experiencing PTSD symptoms. When I experienced the last trauma (1...

Unfortunately, I've never been in the financial position to pay for a diagnosis, so I can't say it's totally pointless. I waited, was diagnosed, then waited again for treatment only to be told it wasn't a suitable level of treatment. But actually, that NHS therapist helped me to make a decision...

@Midnightmoon I'm in the UK also, but was diagnosed long before the CPTSD classification and I dropped out of the NHS system to avoid pd labels and because it would have been another 18 month wait with no better treatment at the end if it. I'm curious to hear if that C gets any better...

Yes and I think what you've said here shows how treatment for single event PTSD and treatment for complex trauma (with or without PTSD) is different. I wonder if this could be due to the type of trauma. In society there is a lot of respect for veterans and this could carry forward in to...

I have imagery for depression. Nowadays I send on the edge of the abyss, looking into the black hole that is depression and I'm able to pull myself back to stop myself falling, but that's the image I have of it. When I was depressed, I figured that for me depression comes because my mind...

I've kind of gone the opposite way. I've never had a good relationship with my dad, but it was at its worst as a teenager. I was raped by an 18 year old when I was 14/15 and it brought up memories of early SA. I couldn't recall enough but thought it must have been my dad but then I went into...