Recent content by Kintsugi

  1. Kintsugi

    Dissolution of a Faux Marriage Thanks to F*cking Meth

    Boxes of his stuff are being moved. I feel like Giles Corey in reverse. Which is good, because I always feel like Richard Cory.
  2. Kintsugi

    Dissolution of a Faux Marriage Thanks to F*cking Meth

    I realized I have a postscript. The hard part is finally over. It’s the part where I keep going back to find something I think will still be there for me, but it never is, and I realize it never was. Some grand Maya shit, really. Like dreaming I found treasure in my garden. I claw around in...
  3. Kintsugi

    Dissolution of a Faux Marriage Thanks to F*cking Meth

    When the illusion breaks, there is no means of reassembling it. I had a coworker for years who was in this insane abusive marriage, and many of my other coworkers would try to pry her eyes open. Her rationale for putting up with everything never made any actual sense. They tried to reason with...
  4. Kintsugi

    Dissolution of a Faux Marriage Thanks to F*cking Meth

    I am so glad. My personal favorite also comes from a member here, @Stickler ‘s burning mattress. I’m ready to stop dragging around a burning mattress. And yes. Here am I. Send me.
  5. Kintsugi

    Dissolution of a Faux Marriage Thanks to F*cking Meth

    I am so overwhelmed by this saga I struggle to even touch it with words. Language is my frame in all things, but capturing these events is like trying to snap a photo of a pyramid made entirely of 30ft tall cards that tumble in perpetuity as I stand directly at its base, my lens unable to...
  6. Kintsugi

    Sh*t. I Honestly Think My Husband Is Developing Schizophrenia. F*ck. Help.

    @Friday Oh f*ck how well you know me my beloved friend.
  7. Kintsugi

    Sh*t. I Honestly Think My Husband Is Developing Schizophrenia. F*ck. Help.

    Very, very, very defensively. Denial. Indignation. Anger. Disbelief. Laughter. Nonsense bullshit. Oh, hush. You’re on my Most Wanted for Comment list, always. I love hearing from you. I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t respond to your last post. And then he got better. And I was happier. And then...
  8. Kintsugi

    Sh*t. I Honestly Think My Husband Is Developing Schizophrenia. F*ck. Help.

    I want to set something on fire. There is only one perfect parallel to the slide into schizophrenia. Something he has a very storied history with. But I didn’t want to believe it, even when my buddy told me point blank it’s what he saw. Meth-induced psychosis. The spiral into increasing...
  9. Kintsugi

    Sh*t. I Honestly Think My Husband Is Developing Schizophrenia. F*ck. Help.

    Ugh. @joeylittle. You’re helpful as ever. So like, important thing I never mentioned, probably even to you privately before I even started dating J? You remember: I asked you for an intervention. Good times! So part of the reason I didn’t want to touch him with a 10-mile-long pole romantically...
  10. Kintsugi

    Sh*t. I Honestly Think My Husband Is Developing Schizophrenia. F*ck. Help.

    I’ve also had psychosis as a pretty regular feature of my PTSD, which is why I find it SO frustrating he’s so defensive. It’s like he can’t even remember that I’m particularly open about having a treatment-resistant incurable mental health disorder myself.
  11. Kintsugi

    Sh*t. I Honestly Think My Husband Is Developing Schizophrenia. F*ck. Help.

    Yeah, so, the title. I don’t think I shared it here, but we were never legally married. I was pretty into the idea until sometime last Spring, about 6 months after the ceremony. I became sort of passively ambivalent. Then the summer came, and it went from the back burner to “let’s never discuss...
  12. Kintsugi

    It Turns out Getting Arrested Is Super Triggering

    I did the hard thing that was the correct thing to right my mental health ship. I gave my notice at my job, which started out as a “This place is a fixer-upper worth my energy” and quickly devolved through losing 20% of our staff into “This is an unsafe environment that is leveraging emotionally...
  13. Kintsugi

    It Turns out Getting Arrested Is Super Triggering

    No. Nope. F*ck no. I do not. @Friday I would say on my ass, but then how is it getting kicked so hard? That’s a thinker. Yeah I’m absolutely not okay at all. I wish I could say much more than that. It’s very difficult to compare this, uh, symptomatic *kerfuffle* with any other time in my life...
  14. Kintsugi

    It Turns out Getting Arrested Is Super Triggering

    Yeah, I will admit no longer drinking like it’s my job but still having the synergy of taking clonopin has dramatically changed my ability to drink at all. I went to a Halloween party. I made it through ONE beer... in six hours.
  15. Kintsugi

    It Turns out Getting Arrested Is Super Triggering

    It’s weird what a salve it is to know the people you respect most and consider excessively capable also struggle with things that are so often framed as a basic adult responsibility/task everyone should be able to tackle all the time forever with relative ease. I was particularly anticipating...
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