Recent content by kocean

@Lost in the Woods thanks for your response. ah think me saying treatment resistant has been misunderstood. I was referring to another responder saying they use gratitude and I was saying I do this too but this treatment does not work. I'm hurting enough, engaging in therapy twice per week...

I just came back form therapy. the therapist is annoying and often says things that I feel just make matters worse. I told her I was angry that the terrorisation I experienced as child has left an aspect of me terrified of being close to people because this aspect of me believes people who get...

@Ecdysis thank you I will try to check it out. Did you go through an authorised health service or other means?

thanks. I practice gratitude and doesn't seem to help me. Maybe I am resistant to that treatment!

@Survivor3 Thanks for the response. Means a lot because it's hard to find people who get it. I was a writer. What do you do, if you dont mind sharing here? Did you manage to keep your creativity all the way through these decades? Unsure what you mean by offering my self...I do a lot of...

Hello I've been suicidal for three years, everyday, non stop and had two attempts. I have no family, no friends, no partner, no support networks, no career. I don't have anything to tether me to this reality. The getting 'out there' chat sounds like bullshit when you life is like this, no one...

The End We Start From Was bloody amazing. Good Brit movie about a woman giving birth during a flood in London. It's quite heavy going but without the Hollywood guns, bombs and gore

Think it varies according to the season I am in and capacity. Today it looked like this: Listening, spending time connecting with my body through some stretching and movement, paying attention to what it's telling me e.g yesterday I could not be in some postures and movements for so long...

some aspects of me have been feeling sadness, hopelessness, loss, pointlessness other aspects self hatred other aspects possibility, preferring that word over hope

talking with a good friend someone holding the door open for me yellow flowers walking by

think one of the things that I recognise was an issue is having a return of guilt feelings when I stated needs or said no, which was something I used to have very strongly as a young person until I worked on it quite a bit in recovery. Then it came back with a vengeance during the early stages...

Was just looking at the OP and checking myself. Was not focusing on the blaming this other person, my questions was about knowing what was what to help me understand the experience I am having post the relationship. It feels like this has turned into me trying to blame someone and label just for...

I hear that. I don't think I am not not focused on me. I am doing a lot of work looking at my codependence, the aspects of me that were so activated at this time that made it hard to hold boundaries, the relationship with the deceased parent And I am also trying to understand what was...

@Friday I think I would define it simply as the other person thinking that I am an extension of them, there to serve them and certainly not to disturb their perception of themselves. I felt like I experienced this with my ex