Recent content by Lissar

I have multiple intrusive tests coming up. The first is a rectal exam that will be done by a male doctor who I’ve never met and who has bad reviews online. The next will be a transvaginal ultrasound. Then an HSG (tube inserted into cervix to flood uterus and fallopian tubes with contrast dye...

I do this too, and just spoke about about it with my therapist again this past week. She reminded me that children with trauma will often reenact that trauma during their play in an attempt to make sense of it and get a feeling of control over it. She wondered if me going on “binges” of watching...

Yeah, I am. Trying to work through it with their help.

Hi all, My ONLY experience with sex is being raped almost two years ago. In that time, I haven't been able to handle much of any touch from men - even ballroom dancing in a very social setting has proven difficult to cope with most of the time. But now I am trying to get my life back, and there...

Yes, all true. The Crown can compel, but is unlikely to if I don't want to proceed with it. Once all the evidence is in, the detective will give me a recommendation and then leave it up to me if I want her to take the case to the Crown at all. Thank you for sharing your experience, it helps to...

This happens to me a lot. I like how you said that you CAN break out of it, but that it's very "unpleasant" - that description resonates with me. It also sometimes happens to me when I'm more relaxed, too. I think having my body quiet and my nervous system less activated makes me really...

Next week I'll be receiving the results of the forensic testing, and in another couple weeks the tox screen will come back. What this means is that I'm at a decision point in terms of how the investigation will progress. The detective has already told me that she is willing to bring him in for...

My T will sometimes write me handwritten encouraging notes to take with me after a session. I also recently finally got the guts to ask her to leave me a voicemail message that I can listen to while panicking. That has helped immensely. I too just feel alone, despite having people in my life I'm...

No, she's not a specialist in SE, and any real body-based therapy where touch is inherent. She just had a supervisor who was comfortable and competent in using touch, and taught her to be as well. I have two therapists right now who are working together, and they use similar therapeutic...

This has been happening to me since a trauma 6 months ago. Dx with C-PTSD prior to that trauma, and now PTSD too. The dissociative stuff hasn't offically been diagnosed. But reading this thread has been comforting.. at least I'm not the only one experiencing the being frozen, and locked inside...

I'm experiencing this too.. so you're definitely not alone in it.

Really relating to this thread, and also pretty confused. I had a young part (? - this is new wording for me) show up in therapy last week. I was so drained after. My therapist said it didn't look much different than my usual dissociation, but it FELT different. I felt YOUNG.. like the whole...

I agree with you.. I don't think the dissociation is always a bad thing. I have two therapists that are working together with me, and one of them "lets" me ride the dissociation/flashbacks sometimes. My body sometimes shakes, and I often cry.. and it's only in that dissociative state that that...

Different therapists have different perspectives and different training on using safe touch. It is actually unethical for a therapist to use touch unless they have training and supervision in using it in a healthy way. I NEED a therapist who uses touch, it is the only way I feel safe enough to...