Recent content by mellysail

Oh, itsallokay, I feel your pain.... My guy also won't admit when he's wrong, and he says some truly hurtful things to me. Today I was blamed for wearing a tee shirt from a 10K I did over the fall last year.... the Devil's Chase. Its in Salem, MA (home to the Salem Witch Trials) and its held...

So this weekend was particularly bad- my fiancee's deceased father's birthday was yesterday and he's been on edge all weekend. To the point that he hit me in the head on our sailboat and threw some books at me. Then he left me on the boat, taking the dinghy and leaving me there overnight...

@Glara Please don't think that the help and support provided here isn't helpful. Because it is. But other types of support are also helpful. I've seen some folks attend Al-Anon meetings, others go to therapy, others are very careful with self care, some do all of the above. I'm extremely...

@Sweetpea76 You've been an inspiration to me for the last couple weeks and I'd like to echo everything you've said. PTSD doesn't get DF a free pass.... but I am understanding when he can't do something or when he's episodic. Last weekend he couldn't handle going to my neice's christening. I...

@Sweetpea76 & @CharlotteB My favorite is when he proposes an activity (lets meet up and go out to dinner!) then I ask where he wants to meet, and all of sudden I'm causing a problem for asking too many questions, which allegedly stresses him out, which then leads to a meltdown. That was last...

@CharlotteB Oh honey..... I know what you are going through!!!! All I have to say is that things get easier. Your man is going to say things he doesn't mean when he's in the thoroghs of his episode. When my fiancee comes out of it and realizes the things he's said, he feels awful and very...

I'm planning a retreat! I had gone about once a year to a Benedictine convent in CT for a few days of reflection and contemplation, but this year, since meeting my fiancee, I haven't been able to. I am going back to school in the fall and have decided to take a pause for the remainder of the...

Thankfully, I don't have experience with long periods of isolation, knock wood. However, my DF will often sleep to get that "isolation" and he's slept for days on end. When he does this, I don't go too far, but I do my own thing in the house: watch my TV shows he doesn't like, take the dog on...

@amethist THANK YOU for this resource. Even though I live in the US I joined the online portion of Carers UK. I'm attending social work school in the fall and I would love to see an organization like this up and running in the US. (Possible career?). Great online resources (if not always...

Well, he's back to me.... He's embarassed by his behavior and he apologized and said that he never means it when he says the things he says. I love him and I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. Has anyone had good experiences with couples therapy? Has it helped or hurt? I do know...

I agree with Purplemunchkin.... he might blame you for abandoning him. You don't say if you're attending therapy individually or together? Have you considered it? I've reached the point with my fiancee where I want him to go to therapy with me so that we can talk about when these things...

OMG AlwaysLoveHim I felt like I was looking in a mirror..... I'm going into an MSW program this fall and want to work with veterans. My fiancee is a combat vet and we have a lot of good days and some bad days. We've just gone through a few bad days and I'm honestly at a loss. I feel sad...

And like the rest of his episodes, he takes multiple doses at a time of his sleeping medication and sleeps for days on end after he's done with the episode. He's in the middle of sleeping now.... he slept all day yesterday, all night last night, and this morning had to ask me what day it was...

My fiancee has combat PTSD and I finally (despite being on this forum off and on for about 9 months) just read about the PTSD cup and it totally made sense to me. It made sense why he would be set off my the smallest thing, and why sometimes it was impossible to get him to do something. We...

Well, I'm new to being a supporter.... met my fiancee 9 months ago and it was hard and fast love. Then I began to see the PTSD symptoms up close and personal.... Anyway... I'm trying to get back to taking care of myself so..... I work for a large corporation with a big volunteer program, so...