Recent content by Miaoqing

Hi everyone, So lately I've been having these very self-violent intrusive thoughts that play over and over in my head and almost sound like someone telling me to hurt myself. I don't think they're auditory hallucinations; they're more like my own voice repeating very rapidly in my head until I...

I'm not sure if we have that option in Alabama - from what my therapist said, it seems like hospitals around where I live only have full inpatient and outpatient services, but not PHP or IOP. I am continuing outpatient care, though; I go to therapy twice a week, and I see a psychiatrist every...

Hello everyone, Today I was discharged from the hospital, where I spent the last four days inpatient with suicidal ideation/close to an attempt. The day before I was admitted, I had heavily contemplated throwing myself into traffic, crashing my car, or cutting my wrists, and was incredibly...

Thanks everyone for your lovely words of support - you are all so kind! Thanks for the advice, Friday! I'll definitely try it; I've never thought of treating little happy episodes like that. I've started yoga and am trying to exercise more, and I'm trying to not be as hard on myself. Taking...

I'm really upset. I was having a good week or two with significantly reduced symptoms, and I was generally having a dandy time. I thought I had finally found medications that would help me - I've been on the meds merry-go-round for about seven months now, and I thought that the Prozac and...

Friends, I share wonderful news: I have been accepted to the University of Alabama - Birmingham with a Presidential Recognition scholarship (tuition and fees) and an invitation to the Honors College!! I am beyond ecstatic. This is such a great step forward. It's hard to think that just a few...

Hello everyone, Lately, I've been feeling really guilty about not getting better quicker. I've been diagnosed since April and I feel like I should have made some sort of improvement by now, but it doesn't seem like I have. Whenever I talk to my therapist or psychiatrist, I get the feeling that...

My therapist recommended that I begin EMDR since my current therapy doesn't seem to be helping me very much. Has anyone tried EMDR? What were are your thought about it? What should I expect? xx

Thanks everybody for your warm thoughts. I really appreciate them. :) I'm seeing my therapist on Wednesday morning and I've decided that I'm going to tell her about my thoughts. If I go back to the hospital, then so be it, I probably need to go back anyhow. I just feel such a terrible amount of...

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I need to go back to the hospital. :( I just had a really terrible experience at the hospital I went to, so I'm thinking of going to Children's Hospital instead. They are supposed to have a really good psychiatric inpatient unit. I just...

Hello everyone, Lately, I've been feeling extremely suicidal, with plans to either overdose on Zoloft or crash my car going ~90 mph. The strangest thing about it is that I'm suicidal at the same time that I'm not. It's not so much that I want to die but that I want to hurt myself in a terrible...

I was diagnosed at the hospital, by a psychologist, and by a psychiatrist. I was thinking along the same lines as well; I think I'm going to ask my therapist to talk to her and explain my diagnosis to her. I think that will help her understand what I'm going through. I think she's also...

Hello everyone, So my mom refuses to believe that I'm suffering from PTSD. She believes instead that I have mild depression and GAD-- and I do have GAD and depression, but my depression is severe-- and that I don't have PTSD at all. I don't know how to convince her otherwise. I've been...

I mean just honestly Anyway, right now I feel like screaming and pulling my hair out and I'm trying really hard not to self harm. I'm having flashbacks of the event and I feel like my skull is splitting apart. I was raped by my brother's friend when I was around nine or so and was sexually...

I don't know if I ever acted on it or not, but starting around 8 or 9 I definitely had the desire to kill myself, mainly by jumping out of a window. Self-harm-wise, I started to bite my hands and wrists when I was particularly upset around this time as well, and wanted to cut myself but never...