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Recent content by Mommyof5

  1. M

    It Seems No Matter How High A Wall I Build...

    I feel you, and I like the way you write. Here is to a better tomorrow. *Cheers*
  2. M

    I Think I Am Going To Get A Cat

    That is great to hear! I never thought I'd be a Cat person until I had a Cat... Now I have 3, and I love them! I hope you find a sweet kitty to call your own. They truly are great companions! As far as names... Sparticus sounds cool, lol! Hope your day is going great as well!
  3. M

    Sufferer My Past

    Awe, sweety, as you get older, your brain goes through changes. You become more mature. As you go over your past, things you did not understand & things which were really traumatic pop up. PTSD is like a full circle; you think you are over it or that your "past is behind you," you do well for a...
  4. M

    Sinking Feeling

    I feel this way EVERY day. I made a huge mistake by continuing to live in the same town as my abusers. I furthered this terrible mistake nearly 4 years ago when I convinced my husband that the best choice for our family was to rent-to-own my childhood home from my parents. Would have been fine...
  5. M

    Life?

    I feel you. I agree with you. I support you. I mean it. I feel the same way when experiencing the intense cycles of PTSD. I feel the same way about life, stuck while everything goes in a whirlwind around me. I too, become guilty regarding my children; wishing I were capable of making deep...
  6. M

    I'm Sort Of All Over The Place . . .

    It is parental instinct to shield our children from any kind of pain, emotonal upset/strain/stress included. At the same time, parenting adult children involves being honest and open despite the stress that may come with the truth. If this person was and still is an important person in your...
  7. M

    Sufferer Hey Everyone, I'am Just Looking For Some Peace And Mind With My Horrible Symptoms

    Do you fear death because of the painful ways you watched your grandparents and father suffer? After much obsession over death, myself, I have come believe that one of the only guarantees in life is a casket. Once I came to that realization, I further decided that I have spent far too much...
  8. M

    Guilty For Opening Up?

    I experience this as well. Both due to the parental shaming/guilt-tripping, but aslo because my parents and their lawyer made me lie and tell police that "nothing happened." 4 years later they went back to my abuser and asked him to marry me. The warped situation makes me fearful at times...
  9. M

    Re-kindleing Lost Friendship; Triggers & Toxicity

    Thank you, Solara. That is exactly it. I worked so hard to stay out of that world and I was blindly dragged back onto it. The little girl inside was reaching for her rose colored glasses. The adult me needed more input on the matter. I can see Arfie's point, she may just be in a rosy world. I...
  10. M

    Re-kindleing Lost Friendship; Triggers & Toxicity

    Financially, times have been tough these last few months. Being self-employed & desperate, I posted on my Facebook page that I needed to find work ASAP, odd jobs, housework, etc. Soon after, I was contacted by a girl I met through "my molester" that I hadn't spoken to for nearly 9 years-...
  11. M

    Persistent Body Memory

    I have never tried this. I think I will. Thanks you guys... I haven't known what to do with all these body memories, and they have been haunting me a lot lately. This technique you have presented sounds very helpful.
  12. M

    Flashbacks Without Memories?

    I am going through this too and I didn't understand it. It also (is it this way for you?) makes me feel like what I am experiencing could be invalid because my memory has no recollection, like there is no recording playing in my head, just my body physically/nervously changes. After the episode...
  13. M

    Sufferer New, Feeling So Terrible

    I know what you mean. It is really hard to keep it together when you are a walking ball of anxiety. Going out in public, grocery shopping, even just driving around, can become so difficult when bad things keep coming your way. I hope you will find the time to post more. Letting it out helps a...
  14. M

    Do Abused Children Try To Earn Their Parents Approval?

    Yes, many kids do and grow into adulthood continuing to try to gain parental approval from parents that will never give it up. We love, give excuses, blame ourselves, and rhuminate over the past wondering, "Where did I go wrong? What did I do?" We didn't do anything wrong. Our parents...
  15. M

    How Can She Be So Cruel.

    I was abused by my neighbour's adult son from 12-16. There were other abusive men in my life during that time, also. In between being molested, I was raped of my virginity by my friend's cousin (whom also lived on the same road) at 13. Soon after, (literally the next day) my neighbour's son...
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