Recent content by Nam

  1. Nam

    Chat, check-in, and hang out

    Checking in. It's good to see some of you still here and hello to all that I have yet to meet. I've come back to my diary writing when things get tough. Life is crazy and stressful right now. My oldest daughter has me in complete knots. Teenager angst is brutal! Waving hello and hope all of you...
  2. Nam

    Other Memory loss

    I seem to have an issue with remembering events. It really came to my attention on Wednesday when I ran into someone I had met and had a conversation with 3 weeks ago. I knew I knew her, my feelings about her were good. But I couldn’t place her. As soon as she started to tell me what we talked...
  3. Nam

    Sufferer Newly Diagnosed PTSD - Medical Trauma & Stillbirth

    Welcome. I'm sorry for your loss. You have at least two traumas in one night. I worked in L&D for seven years and know what trouble you were in. I'm glad you're still here. We can relate to the intrusive thoughts too. I'm usually disgusted at myself for thinking of such horrible things. They...
  4. Nam

    Has anyone with delayed onset had what feels like a repeat of onset?

    Hey. I'm an old member here and have had relapses. I had delayed onset however since my trauma was in my childhood and I didn't get real PTSD symptoms until I was 24. Delayed onset is in my diagnosis. Since then, I've had symptoms come and go and it's easily seen in my activity here. When life...
  5. Nam

    I'm back....again.

    It's been years since I've logged on. I've been on a downward spiral for three months now and I needed my diary to write in. So here I am. Some of you may remember me. I do see some familiar names. So hi! ? And those of you that are new to me, I'm hoping to get to know you. Recap: I have four...
  6. Nam

    The Miracle Question

    The first is by far easier to answer than the second. The first has me imagine for just a moment, what it feels like to work hard on this shit while feeling completely safe, surrounded by love, support, and hope. Even the noise in my head quieted and all criticisms were silent. It allowed me to...
  7. Nam

    My husband died today

    I'm sorry to hear Medic. I wish our society wasn't so keen on just the end. Doesn't it seem that way? So many things: a loss on a game, a final on a test, end of a long project, a case, anything. What about all that came before it. The work, the trials, the small triumphs, the ....LIFE lived...
  8. Nam

    What Does Your Username Mean?

    It's my Korean name.
  9. Nam

    Tortured In California/possible Ptsd

    You can investigate. That's what I would do. I'd HAVE to know if it's in my head or not. And if it isn't, WHERE is it coming from and WHO is it directed at. Considering it is only happening at the house and not elsewhere...tells me it's the location. That doesn't mean it's not in your head...
  10. Nam

    Feeling Like Others' Problems Are Silly

    I get like this once in awhile. A version I go through is with my kids. They don't know any different. they don't understand how good they have it... I'm a solver. I try to give solutions to fix it. I'm not a great listener for people that just want to vent. It's gotten me into trouble with a...
  11. Nam

    Two Weeks On Bupropion (zyban/u.s. Wellbutrin) Plus Pristiq

    Live life. When that gets hard, then ruminate and see where the issue is. For me, I know I'm doing well if I get up wanting to do things. That I plan for activities and actually want to do them. I have energy and feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I know that I need help when...
  12. Nam

    Two Weeks On Bupropion (zyban/u.s. Wellbutrin) Plus Pristiq

    @Flossy I feel good. When I went from 300 to 450, I had a period of false euphoria. It lasted less than a week. I was slightly disappointed that I couldn't stay there, but logically I knew I had to care. During the euphoria, I simply didn't care if it was bad and only cared if it was good...
  13. Nam

    Severe Anger Issues

    You've got some good advice Collin. I used to get really angry, like scared of myself angry. I took a wet towel and smacked it on the pavement. Kinda annoying to the neighbors at night, but much better than hurting myself or others...or screaming my head off. The wet towel thing was just an...
  14. Nam

    Interests Or Hobbies

    I haven't read any responses. EVERYONE starts as a beginner with anything. My go to for relaxing is knitting. If it fails, it's no biggie because the end result isn't the most important thing. I need processing while doing something repetitious. (I learned to knit as an adult.) I paint, but...
  15. Nam

    I Recovered Faster Than Ever After (jury Selection)

    Any crime to property only, traffic offenses, and drugs are okay to serve on. The last time I was summoned I was excused because it was a domestic abuse case. I'd be a little biased on that one.
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