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Everything I have read about DID specifically references childhood trauma.
It seems likely that what @Ronin and @grit are talking about can happen (i.e. the original trauma that forms the DID occurs in childhood may go dormant, and then be brought active again by additional trauma/ stress etc...
I am surprised that you are taken aback by his response to your text. His response is exactly what I would expect.
He is clearly interested in dating you, as proven by the continued interest in asking you out. To think he would not hope your joke was serious does not seem like a reasonable...
Just read the first thread you started. I can relate to the sources of truama you identified in your life. I hope you are doing well. Keep reaching out for help. This is a really good place for support for the most part. But trust your therapists and professionals more than online feedback...
That is a normal response to trauma. It will get better over time. It is not your fault, or some weakness. You are still you and you will be able to overcome this with treatment over time.
I am glad you are going to see a new therapist. That is going to help a lot. It is hard to go without talking about it with your wife, but I am sure working with the therapist will help with that too.