Recent content by Soleil

In addition to what others have said. KNOW this. Deep in your bones, know it. You ALWAYS have a right to ask for an assistant to be in the room. You ALWAYS have the right to ask for someone else. You can explain you have PTSD if you want, but it's not necessary. And you ALWAYS have the right to...

I suspect the reason you're searching for a potential COCSA label is the same reason I went searching when I got stealthed, which before that experience I didn't even know was a thing. And here in the US, stealthing is considered to be "rape adjacent" in many states, but not yet illegal. So it...

Boundary busting, gaslighting. Not a safe person! Alcohol reduces inhibitions. It doesn't create. Meaning the desire to touch your breasts and vagina were already in his brain; he just hadn't acted on it. Alcohol simply removed whatever was stopping him from acting on those desires. Or he used...

It is VERY common for people who've experienced SA to minimize their SA experiences. "It's not as bad as what others have," "second offense wasn't meant to be sexual," etc. I did it for years. It took me about 40yrs to see that the 2nd offense absolutely WAS sexual- he was testing the waters...

I'm 4yrs+ no contact now and occasionally it will pop into my head that I "owe my narc parent" an explanation. No I f*cking don't!! He was never a "dad" to me. He was an abuser and the ONLY reason I've even considered it was because of the role of "dutiful daughter." There's no such thing when...

I second and third this lol. A thousand times. We can only work on/change US. We can't do the work for or change others. If they're not willing to do their work, then they don't deserve to be part of our lives. Or in our thoughts. (They're not paying rent for the space in our heads lol.)...

I've tried several different "coping strategies" over the years, and the one that has worked always, and with the least amount of effort, is repeating this affirmation. I still have it set as a daily calendar event with reminder so I'll see it, even though it's now memorized lol 🤭 (I didn't...

Understood. You're not alone. 45yrs for me too. Cptsd too. Good for you to say "not...as yet." 😁 👍 💪 Reflects your understanding that it DOES get better. Because it absolutely does if we show up and do the work. Promise. 😊💕

Did EMDR not help you with the ptsd symptoms (primarily tricksy, fearful thoughts) you mentioned? There were a couple of times for me where my T said that because I was down to a 2, we were done with that memory and basically that was the best I was gonna get. However lol...we tackled other...

I suspect it's because you processed *intellectually* during CBT rather than *emotionally.* And/or you've only addressed the tip of the iceberg. I too, thought I was "over it" re my childhood but it's because 1. I did it on my own, 2. I repressed my feelings vs actually feeling them, and 3. I...

Omg, I LOVE this perspective! Thanks! 😊💕 Yeah, I'm in year 5 too. Because of many traumas, and new traumas created because of the cptsd Lol, and because we've discovered that ALL of my repressed feelings are attached to a big trauma. So we keep chipping away at it like an iceberg. And I too...

Good for you for getting your own therapist! Proud of you! Sooo many people think that going to a therapist is weakness, when it's actually strength. Keep on keeping on. 👍💕

I didn't go through that because my T ALWAYS makes sure we end on a good note. And if it were a rough one, we'd go over session a few minutes until I got to a good place. If I were in your situation, I'd talk to my T and explain what happened, the undesirable consequences, and ask how you can...

Here's the link to Copeland Center's WRAP program. copelandcenter.com/wellness-recovery-action-plan-wrap There's also a 4-wk seminar starting Dec 1 to make your own WRAP (and is required if you eventually want to become a peer support counselor). Cost $399. Scholarships offered via application.

My experience with EMDR is that I absolutely KNOW there is something more, if for no other reason than I know the memories we haven't yet worked on. Defining something as "seismic" is completely subjective, and will largely depend on the fear IN THAT MOMENT due to the c/ptsd. In a different...