Recent content by Spiderallis

The what-if type of guilt after an event like that can be a very sticky mess to handle. I can certainly see where the more recent unfortunate events would rekindle the previous memories. Coming from a more violent part of the world I can promise you that most of the 'he was a good man' remarks...

It feels silly at first but practicing ahead of time can make it easier to do when you need to speak up. If the word 'no' itself is difficult there's other words to express disinterest or get-off-me-you-creep. You could try exclaiming "What?! Behave yourself!" because that's disrespectful or...

I was in a church for an old friend's memorial service and his band played a song he wrote with a lyric "It was that part of town that got me down, I don't go there anymore" It was great advice, I had a hard time driving through the old neighborhood to get there so I haven't gone back since...

I need to remember to eat more often.

I'm confused and tired. Life has that pins-and-needles numb tingle like I slept on my brain funny. Wait, I did sleep on my brain funny, and I'm tired from cleaning the mess I left for myself while I was out of my head.

It's constant effort to see the recent bad news I've gotten as individual pieces. A pile of small stones is not a mountain. I'm tired from forcing myself to focus and see that.

I'm sad and very uncomfortable to admit that something about alone-ness is bothering me. It's such a strange idea to me I'm stumbling on the words for it, it's not lonely, it's more like frustration. I'm trying to build healthier social connections and I'm not sure how to do that.

Emotional blah, either the weather or a cold or flu is draining my energy.

I'm worn out and frustrated.

Eek, I remember being too generous too quickly with how much I'd let anyone know. It's only been the last few days that I realized that's what the common ground was in a few very unhealthy friendships and relationships. We held up our broken pieces and showed each other all the scars, then I...

Relaxed and happy. I dyed my hair pink and purple and love how it came out. The criminal lunatic bad cop neighbor drove away after another news crew knocked on his door so I'm at ease. Hyper-vigilance is still useful every few years, one very comforting minor detail says he'll be away for a...

Oh wow, I'm straining to contain my disgust. My neighbor did hateful awful things while being a cop. They're going to get what they deserve, I'll focus on being grateful that the chief of police is doing a good job of handling a very ugly mess.

I can't recognize it but I can tell the nausea isn't actually about my belly, this is some emotion. It's frustrating. I don't know which coping skills to try if I can't figure out what I'm trying to cope with.

I'm pretty sure I'm just annoyed but it could be some kind of sinus headache cold.

I'm exhausted. Every time I glance back this whole year just makes me tired. It's constant effort to just be in the present moment and not stray off to poking the sore spots. I'm worn out from dragging my head back into place over and over again.