Recent content by ssw

So. I've wonder for years if I'm asexual. I had a rape trauma when I was 15 So I've never enjoyed sex. I realize this part trauma but what is asexual I'm kind of okay with no sex But either way if it's trauma how in the world would I reverse it? I self help.. I'm not going to a...

God. It's already been 7months? ......where the f*ck have I been. I can't lie. That just breaks my soul and makes me bawl. I have lost so much of my life because of my ex. A total of 4 years .... What the f*ck is this life. This is not a life.

Trauma When I was 15 - Ivebeen dissociating periodically since then. And a previous trauma. 7months ago. New everything - New house new job new friends new city. Last trauma was an abusive relationship I was isolated for 3.5 years from all my friends. So. A lots going on. This isn't normal.

You guys are fantastic. I'll reply tomorrow. I'm kind of in and out of dissociation right now. This is too much right now unfortunately. Be peaceful. Thank you all so much.

I had found, despite the topic, a conversation extending more than 30 minuets or so tends to make me dissociate. Would anyone know why perhaps?

. Now that I relate to

Thank you.

My god I just don't know. My heads just screaming at me. I just want to die. I didn't ask to be here. And im suffering.

What is your head like now?

I'm just tired of hoping and suffering and. Hanging on and it doesn't get better it really doesn't. It hasn't in 11 years... I. Just going off facts.

Staying present makes me want to break things.

What is this nonsense? Do others have daily constant thoughts too? Suicidal thoughts aren't normal... I recently realized that. (That was an ephiphany for me.. What is it like to not think of suicide? How do they feel normally? Weird shit.) Anyways. I've always struggled with it. About 11...

How do you get control over it? I usually have to sleep it off to come out if it

I think he is blessed with you. I don't know anyone that has a heart for that. And how do you even tell someone that? I barely know what the hell is wrong with me.

Thank you never more. I just don't undertand .. Why would I disossociate? Is it just my "fight or flight" response?