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I think one of the cruelest things about PTSD is the ability to mask during the honeymoon phase. You have no idea what PTSD really is until after you’re well and good in love, then you get a full dose square in the face and you wonder what happened to your loved one. The truth is *this* is...

Whether he knows or doesn’t know it’s PTSD doesn’t mean he could stop the behavior. He’s going to do what he’s going to do to cope. My partner knows that he lets me down or hurts me at times, but that doesn’t mean he can just stop doing it. He works on it, but he has a mental illness. It’s...

Ok. I’m an actual supporter dealing with this from the same side. My partner is an isolator too, and that shit is for the birds in the beginning. Don’t try to make sense of it, it does not make sense to anybody but him. You have to deal with it pragmatically instead of trying to “talk it out” or...

You’re trying to rationalize the irrational. He has a mental illness, and you cannot logic that away. That is the answer you’re seeking. He has a mental illness. What he does will not make sense to anybody but him. The end. You have to grieve, not torture yourself over “what if he was...

Is isolation common? Oh yeah. It’s a coping mechanism. You’re allowed to be irritated about it, and there is nothing wrong with telling him. Don’t start holding back your opinions and feelings this early on. You will never get that back.

It’s exhausting… I’m sorry he did this to you. It sucks when it comes out of nowhere.

That’s all well and good, but let’s not lose focus. In this part of the forum, we worry about the supporter’s well being. The focus is always on the sufferer and their PTSD, how they’re feeling, and what they need. In this one little nook it’s about the supporter getting a little support for a...

OP hasn’t been here for almost a year, but she mentioned that her husband’s behaviors were related to his trauma history, and that he was working on that in therapy. Not everything is NPD, and we try not to diagnose. PTSD itself is a selfish disorder. Sufferers in self preservation mode...

Does it matter *why* she is doing this more than the fact that she *is* doing it at all? This is a huge supporter trap. “Our poor sufferers only cheat, lie, manipulate, abuse or whatevz because their PTSD makes them.” It is very, very common to hear this rationale from supporters. “He didn’t...

You’re not triggering them, they’re being triggered. It’s happening in their head, so it’s their responsibility. Unless you know a specific trigger and you are doing it maliciously on purpose to hurt them, you are not triggering. Blame shifting is emotional manipulation. You are allowed...

What did he actually say when he broke things off?

Most people who experience trauma do not develop PTSD, so it’s very easy for those folks to “throw it in the trash can” if they want. They’re not taking PTSD into consideration when they talk like that.

It’s a learning curve. None of us know what we are doing when we get into these relationships.

Look at giving him space as a loving act. He needs space to feel better, and you are giving him what he needs. And honestly, it isn’t personal… Not if he still communicates with you and wants you around otherwise.

Yeah… where’s that trash can at? I wish my vet could find it! Sorry your husband listened to that guy.

You do not have to apologize here or moderate what you say. This specific part of the forum is for supporters, and trust me, we know how you feel. Don’t worry about upsetting any feelings here. Some of us have been with combat vets for a long time, so anytime you want you shit-talk the VA...

I agree, but you’re more patient than me! I can’t indulge in the nonsense, and I don’t validate any of it. I’m compassionate that those thoughts are real to him, but I’m not going to encourage delusional ideas. Luckily my partner isn’t conspiracy-minded, but he does have some cognitive...

You’re not crazy. There is a grieving process, and you were together 15 years. Whatever you’re feeling is valid.

That’s not fair to you at all and it’s bullshit in front of the kids. I’m sorry your getaway was ruined. I hate grown-ass man tantrums.

Hello @FreeSoul, I moved your post from the Supporter section over to Treatment & Therapy, that way you will have more productive responses. Welcome to the forum!

It is a shame… I’m sorry you guys are going through all this. Do you think there’s maybe some kind of postpartum issue going on?

That’s definitely weird, and you’re not crazy. Don’t get sucked in though. You know what happened. This shit will make you question your own sanity. As far as trying to talk it out more, it’s hard to say… but if it’s making *you* nuts, I’d give it a break. It doesn’t sound like anything is...

Yep… it’s you that’s being irrational and unreasonable. In other words, projection. OR That never happened! In other words gaslighting or denial. Either way, it’s your fault, not hers. So much easier to deflect than face the actual problem

You didn’t offend me. I was just making a point. I’m blunt because I’ve been on this rollercoaster for a decade. Being a supporter is the least romantic thing ever. It’s all about reality. PTSD isn’t like having regular emotions. This is a whole new ballgame. It’s difficult to understand as a...

Being empathetic doesn’t mean you understand what is going on in the mind of somebody with a mental illness and trauma history. This goes beyond feelings into symptoms. PTSD is a broken stress response. They can get overwhelmed brushing their teeth sometimes. It’s not about what he wants, it’s...