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Hello @PamelaS. I moved your post from the supporter topic so you are more likely to find helpful advice. Welcome to the forum!

Usually when a sufferer is isolating they’re not in the mode to reciprocate any gestures. That’s why they’re isolating. As a supporter all I ever require is for him to let me know he’s not dead in a ditch every so often. If he can’t manage that then I cannot be with him for my own mental health...

I don’t think their trauma could be considered lucky in any way. Foundational, perhaps, but not even remotely lucky. I think manipulation, stalking, cheating, ill treatment, etc. are general personality traits. Just remember, not everything is PTSD. We had a common quote here in the supporter...

It’s good to see you’re coming out on the other side in a healthy way.

Merry Xmas!

Did she ask you to move out? Or to be allowed to date other people? Or is she just talking about not wanting commitment while not making any real changes to end the commitment?

Only you can decide what you’re willing to tolerate, but it seems like he is staying in contact and expressing appreciation for the space. Mine isolates too. I consider giving him space a loving act. He is in self preservation mode when he gets like that. He can’t handle anything but surviving...

Yep… and the reward is getting yelled at. Welcome to being a supporter. They can’t worry about your feelings when they’re not in control of their own. It’s like asking a drowning man to help you swim. PTSD is a selfish disorder. It’s not very conducive to empathy a lot of the time.

PTSD is a selfish disorder, and somebody who doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to look out for anybody but themselves can definitely have traits that look pretty darn narcissistic.

First priority should be the safety of you and your kids. You guys first, then him. Be safe.

Nothing you’ve described remotely sounds like PTSD responses. It is abuse. Was she actually diagnosed by a professional with PTSD?

This is abusive. Period. Point blank. This is her being violent and manipulative and using PTSD to justify it. This does not even sound like PTSD behavior. And bullshit to her views on boundaries. You need boundaries in a healthy relationship. She is choosing to violate yours instead of...

That sound is unmistakable. Your suspicion is justified.

I’m sorry you are going through this. Lack of physical intimacy can be difficult to get past, especially if you are a demonstrably affectionate person. ^^^ you’re also allowed to feel how you need to feel about this, especially if you had an active sex life in the beginning of your relationship.

The way she treated you does not sound like a PTSD thing, in my opinion. That sounds like personality, or personality disorders. If so, YOU are the lucky one to escape that with most of your mental health in tact instead of a lifetime of that kind of manipulation.

He just took the bullet you dodged.

He sounds like the head, blocking his own heart.

You know you cannot avoid setting him off, because what sets him off doesn’t always make any sense to anybody but him? The eggshells suck. The only advice I can give you is to make sure you protect yourself instead of worrying about protecting him all the time. When he rages remove yourself...

Also, keep in mind supporters don’t seek out the forum because they’re happy, they seek it out because they’re in a bad place. I can say that PTSD is a selfish disorder, and it is definitely a struggle to have a healthy relationship with PTSD in the mix. Is it possible? Yes. Is it happy and...

MOD NOTE: Sufferers, keep in mind this is the supporter section. This area is for supporters to express opinions, ask advice and seek some support of their own. People are allowed to express an opinion and/or vent. If you find that opinion upsetting then this is not the post for you.

Hello @OM_™. I’ve moved your post from the Supporter area so you may have better responses to your question.

It’s hard to grieve somebody who didn’t pass.

Has he been diagnosed with PTSD? Is he being treated?

@LuckiLee that is the suckiest game of tag ever 😆

You didn’t trigger her, she was triggered by something innocuous. You did not have malicious intent. You weren’t being abusive or unsafe. She was triggered by something that only registered to her. Don’t go down that rabbit hole. You didn’t do anything wrong. But you’re the unsafe one...