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This is probably the best thing. It does not seem like a beneficial situation for either of you. A situation can be toxic even if there was no malicious intention.

MOD NOTE: Posting as a reminder: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/sufferers-you-must-read-this-thread-prior-to-posting.91079/ If you find this, or any other post in the supporter area, triggering or otherwise vexing, scroll on past. Keep the comments related to the topic at hand.

If you consider his past involvement with married women a destructive tendency, why is your involvement with him not?

Why would you want to have any kind of relationship with somebody who restricts you, “puts you on probation,” or blocks you? I don’t care if it’s romantic, platonic, familial or professional… f*ck that. You don’t have to tell me to leave you alone but onest.

This is a land mine. Trust is so hard-won with sufferers, but you cannot facilitate the delusions. I think that is something that a lot of supporters have to face. It only gets better when they feel better. I can only commiserate. I wish I had some helpful advice. Make sure to take care of you.

You’re allowed to lose your temper, be hurt, cry… you know, feel emotions like people typically do. Don’t get so geeked up about his reactions that you feel like you’re not allowed to have emotions of your own. You called him out. Somebody else may have used the opportunity to self reflect on...

Do you have PTSD yourself? Or was this an incident with a partner that has PTSD?

Sufferers, this is the supporter section. If it triggers you, scroll on past. If you cannot be helpful to the supporter asking questions then this isn’t the place to post. There is the whole rest of the forum to browse.

Everyone is individual, but broken stress responses do not make for easy conflict resolution, emotional displays, or deep relationship conversations.

Welcome to being the designated asshole in the relationship. Trying to defend yourself or engage is like throwing gasoline on the fire.

Sometimes PTSD is running the show. There isn’t much as a partner you can do to manage the dysreg. That’s something they’re gonna have to work through in their own time and way.

You are stepping over her boundaries now honestly. She says she want to be friends but she cannot date you. You want her to date you, and all your motivation is to get her to date you again. Stop. Step back. Reassess. You cannot help her by doing or saying anything. All you can do is respect...

As far as making a decision about my vet’s psychiatric care… I don’t. I would only step in if I believed he was going to hurt himself or somebody else. Isolation sucks, and I don’t blame you for being a nervous wreck. It’s a somewhat common coping mechanism for sufferers when they get...

Do you believe he is a danger to himself or others? Or is he just isolating himself?

^^^ This. When mine talks trauma, I stfu. He doesn’t need me to pontificate on the most horrible experiences of his life. He just needs to purge every so often, and I facilitate that. Is it the obligation to the person you tell it all too? Mine says he could never be in another relationship if...

I think the idea of telling somebody something so horrifying that it traumatizes them is very much a sufferer idea that isn’t really a thing to supporters. My sufferer has never traumatized me with any of his stories. Of course I also don’t feel the need to make his traumatic experiences all...

Developed anxiety? No. I had GAD and panic disorder before we started dating. Did some of his behaviors set it off? Yup. I had to realize that I cannot make myself crazy because of him. I had to let it go and be at peace with the fact that if he bailed, he bailed, and I would live. I cannot...

One of the hardest things about being a supporter is the powerlessness. You can’t help or fix in terms of somebody else’s mental health or treatment plan, and sometimes you can’t even figure out the logistics of the practical stuff because… hey… mental illness makes shit difficult. Sometimes you...

Let me challenge you with an alternative mindset. A few days is not an unreasonable amount of time for space if you take your anxiety out of the equation. If somebody says they need some space for their mental health, typically they don’t mean minutes or hours. Isolation is not a symptom of...

How long did he bail for the first time?

Welcome to the learning curve! Nobody really ever figures everything out about living with the PTSD fallout. We just get a better grip on ourselves as we go along. This is such a hard concept to get a grip on. It’s a loving act to give somebody what they need when it goes against your own...

That is not always the case. That is why we need to take care of ourselves and our own mental health.

He’s getting treatment… that’s half the battle.

Shift your focus from “helping” him by trying to manage his symptoms. All you are going to do is violate boundaries and cause him to resent you. Instead, help him by respecting boundaries and giving him space without making it about how you’re feeling. That is 20 times more helpful than...

This is where you have to take a long hard look at yourself. You have to decide what you need to be happy… and don’t just knee-jerk say her. Think about what you need in a relationship to feel loved and valued. What makes you happy? What are your deal breakers? Can you maintain the status quo...