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I realize you may just be venting because of everything that is going on and things are hard, but we dont really know what death is like. When we find out, it will be too late to turn back. I would love to believe in heaven and that I will reunite with sisters and dogs, but mostly I just think...

Please be gentle with yourself. Its ok to not be able to be present when the triggers hit. As @Friday said, sometimes we learn to carry them better, but when we dont, we need to forgive ourselves.

Of course its easier to talk to your partner or best friend, If they are similar age, how could they advise you. Im not saying your mom is the person, but you certainly need a mature adult to speak with. My oldest daughter is now 46. She is Bipolar and Borderline. She tried to hide this when...

K4waiiari-you have great insight and especially for your age. You acknowledge much of what you do could be harmful, but sound like impulse may get the best of you. It sounds like you are trying really hard to figure it out, and doing so on your own is just too much. I have found that the sooner...

Sideways, you said exactly what I was thinking but you said it much better than I could have. One thing I might add is that sexual addiction is shame based. (Not saying you have a sexual addiction) Yet the shame and guilt that may be felt following these behaviors can actually cause them to be...

I have insomnia but once asleep, I can sleep for 16 every night. For past week or so, have been ready to get up after 8-10, thats an improvement for me. I am such a crasher and I DO love to sleep. I am really weird about my bed though. All the softest cotton sheets and blankets and lots of...

Im glad that you shared here and I can see what your friend did is very hurtful. Her sister sounds controlling. Its horrible to feel so bad about a situation with a person that you have trusted and shared with. Because you have had trauma all of your life, its understandable that you do not have...

Hearing someone who you thought was your friend make a derogatory comment about you, and second guessing what you think you heard. Knowing that if you address it, they will lie. So carrying it as if the whole world hates you. HMMM

I was once in, what I thought was a healing relationship, but turned out he was a sociopath that had just led me astray from the life I had. After much pain, I discovered that the only really healing relationship was a solo one. Doesn't mean to me to be solo for ever. It would be so nice if...

Ya, well thanks. It has kind of become a moot point. He just keeps gaining weight til I dont thin so much is even possible. Its really become of with me act this point.

I am very relieved to get to the New Year. There is no magic that makes all Dec. emotions disappear. Yet there is a sense of relief. The panic is gone. My thoughts are more clear, and for me, seems to be a time to sleep like hibernation. Sleeping hours are messed up, but so much better than that...

Thank you Friday. Well, that wave crashed....No more hits, though, it might help, IDK Anxiety has been building for me. Some Decembers have not been this bad, this one has been pretty bad. I try to be present with people, and of course holiday gatherings prevent me from just totally isolating...

I HAD FLASHBACKS RECENTLY...IT Was also anniversary date. But 15 yrs. for God Sake...how long will this last. So there's that. I rode the wave. Ended up with sinus infection Im treating for......Was getting sick of feeling disgusted (many more things Im not mentioning). Anyway, I took a couple...

All friendships are different. I have a couple long time friends and we have gone more than a year between talks at times and we pick up right where we left off. Thats why sometimes we are on the phone a couple hours. One lives quite far away so cant see her often either. They are both in my...

A comfy bed

Will be cooking the full meal, like the last 35 years. Just glad I can. Could not do it without the help of husband. I do buy my pies though. Not making those.

Dear SeekingAfrica, you are right about not being alone. You have so much right now that I dont know anyone that would manage better tan you. I keep seeing that the older I get, the more people I am loosing and that alone is depressing. With all going on, no wonder the feelings are mixed. It...

Exercise has helped me in the past, but the constant pain causes such fatigue that it is really hard to break out and exercise. My energy is just so low.

Yes, I have had it for many years, and yes it hurts over bone. At one point I thought I must have bone cancer as the pain was so bad. Of course I do not, but it is horrible and unrelenting. My neck and shoulders are the worst consistently. However, recently my hips just throb when I lay on my...

Sideways, what you said is absolutely true. I disrespect him and myself in the same sentence. Clearly nothing is black and white, and he does deserve respect and gets it in many areas of his life. I respect him for how he has provided for his family, for his work ethic (job), for the most part...

Well, I can now say free, there comes a time that we must realize that this kind of control has to stop. I am married to a man that says he wants sex, but makes it so miserable that nobody would go back for more. Knowing that I am not one to cheap. Seriously, another form of control When I do...

I did not realize until recently, that my husband with PTSD ( who denies such) has a lazy lover syndrome that is related to his PTSD. I know there is is no documentation of all of this, but I do believe it exists. He was diagnosed with Passive Aggressive Disorrder and that Would explain some of...

You asked if I know where to start growing confidence in a relationship, for me, it is the confidence in the relationship with myself is where I have begun. I got lost and way off track for years but am making my way back. For me, some balance in how much I am willing to invest in others with...

The self blame leads to your confirming your inner critic is correct. The other than that I often feel if Im sharing and standing up for myself, is that it sounds like I am blaming someone else....So for myself, I have learned to accept disputes and let unhealthy relationships be, just because I...

Just saw this, but I am here