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I have NO freaking idea why people would ask someone they barely know "So... have you ever killed anyone?". My guy just looks at them like they are retarded and says "I was an infantry soldier for 25 years. I deployed numerous times. What do you think is in the job description?" So for...

I'm physically not very well at the moment. My vet has absolutely zero empathy for me. He expects me to simply carry on as if nothing is the matter. If I do try to "push through" my physical symptoms, I get zero acknowledgement of that - in fact, he says I can't be that sick if I can do xyz...

My vet's sister (who loves him dearly and speaks to him on the phone about once a week) said to me that "he can't rely on that excuse forever!" in relation to his PTSD. :rolleyes: As frustrating as it for you, let him deal with his family the way he wants to deal with his family. You will cop...

@leehalf - I'm going to second @Friday here. None of the combat vets I know are afraid of crowds. They made a living putting themselves in harm's way. The problem is that they see their job in a crowd as protecting you (and your kids, and your friends, and your neighbours, and every other...

What is he supposed to do? Put sedatives in her coffee and then drop her off in the psychiatrist's lobby? Don't get me wrong Eve, I totally agree that DIY diagnosis is never a good idea and she may or may not have PTSD and that if she doesn't then our advice may harm rather than hurt BUT is...

Boundaries are actually a difficult concept to grasp. The key idea is that a boundary is for YOU not for HER. Because you cannot control anyone but yourself. "You must not scream at me." is a demand or rule not a boundary. "You must not scream at me or I will leave you." is an ultimatum not...

@Iceman - Thank you for venturing out of your box. You are not alone. My veteran often says that his problem is not that he deployed too often, but that he came home once too often. Sebastian Junger has some great videos on YouTube that express the idea that the problem is not with war...

Do you know for sure that he needs to reapply? Can you explain the situation to the people who run the program at the ranch and find out exactly what the situation is regarding him personally?

@crazydiamond47 - I haven't seen your other threads or posts. I was in no way "having a pop at you". Nor, in my opinion, was anyone else on this thread. People were challenging your opinion. Politely and respectfully. Rwanda is a perfect example where the UN were there in "observer" mode...

I think you will be great in this role! You've come so far with the program and will be a wonderful mentor to vets just at the start of the journey with horses. It's great news that you have permission to trail ride. (No-one should ride alone for safety reasons so the battle buddy...

@Deanna's Gap - I appreciate you taking the time to respond, but he definitely did not mean "how are you feeling?": He meant "Who's there?" as a sentry's challenge. He told me that later. That was not so much the part that riled me. The "what are you doing?" in the same tone of voice bothers...

I think the really hard part for you is the little ones. Drawing a boundary with an adult is one thing. I will only wash clothes that have been placed in the laundry - as a simple example. If your adult daughter has no clean clothes after two weeks because they are all over the floor of her...

Lest we forget... those that did not come home and those that did. And those that continue to suffer daily from their combat experience. I have found that the general public would rather eulogise dead soldiers than help living soldiers. I may just be in a grumpy mood following a...

I was sleeping in the spare room because I'm unwell. My vet was watching tv in the lounge. I got up to get a drink from the kitchen. He calls out "who's that?". Um who the hell would it be? We live 20km out of town. Our nearest neighbour is about 2km away. You haven't heard a vehicle. Our dogs...

MIne finally started seeing a psychologist in July. He's only seen her a few times and the last time she told him she's taking 3 months maternity leave. He already told me he doubts she/ll come back to work and that he has no intention of finding someone else. So I guess after his session...

I'm sorry you are all so sick but very pleased to see he is stepping up to contribute to the family's needs. Hope you all get better soon!

Nothing worse than your baby suffering. I can't imagine how painful it is to then be told "go away - he's not your baby anyway". Thoughts are with you. I'm sure the hospital will take good care of him. :hug:

Please be careful with this mindset. "anything"? Don't forget to set your own boundaries about what is reasonable and what is not acceptable to you. Don't get me wrong, I do a LOT to try and help my veteran, but I'm no longer prepared to say I will do anything. One of the things I will no...

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” ― Margaret Atwood Google "not all men" and you will find people more articulate than I am explaining why this derails conversation. Of course, not all men are murderers but the overwhelming majority of...

It doesn't even look like a poppy. Our metal pins still look like a poppy.

Always trust your gut instinct. When I was at Uni there was one lecturer who gave me the creeps even though he had never spoken to me directly. One day I was in the elevator alone and the doors opened and someone got in. Even though I had my head down in a book, I instantly felt so uneasy...

The internet is a really big place. What are the chances of someone who knows you in real life being on that board? And reading the post where you got the words mixed up? And jumping to the conclusion that you are the ONLY person who does that? I have also worried about people identifying...

My vet broke up with me because I had a conversation with his adult son on facebook. His son initiated it and I was only trying to be friendly and polite. The break up didn't last long but it means I am no longer on facebook and that I have made a point of not developing relationships with his...

Yep - they are just plain ugly. We have plastic poppies that sell for $2 or a metal pin in the shape of a poppy that goes for $5. I always buy the metal pin - partly to donate a little more money and partly because it looks so much better on a work outfit. I've never seen anything glittery...

Hi there! Congratulations on reaching out. It is a big step. Your situation is not uncommon. It's one of the (many) reasons why abused women don't "just leave him". It's also seen in abused children who run away from foster homes to return to their abusive parent. Google trauma bonding...