General Overreacting?

[Sighs]

I was sleeping in the spare room because I'm unwell. My vet was watching tv in the lounge. I got up to get a drink from the kitchen. He calls out "who's that?".

Um who the hell would it be? We live 20km out of town. Our nearest neighbour is about 2km away. You haven't heard a vehicle. Our dogs who are sleeping under the kitchen table haven't barked. Who else could it f*cking be???

But I answer nicely "it's me". His response is "what are you doing?"

Um whatever I f*cking like? I pay half the f*cking mortgage.

Sigh. Sick of living down the rabbit hole.

 

[CatInTree]

Sounds a lot like he's dealing with hypervigilance to me...

 

[Never_falter2]

To be honest: I think you are overreacting. I would have asked the same questions and do not even have PTSD. I am sure my sufferer would have asked the same questions and that would have been okay with me.
Of course it depends on the tone of his voice.

 

[LuckiLee]

There's so many "quirks" to deal with it can be exhausting sometimes. Even just trying to get a glass of water you have to watch out for the eggshells.

Your not over reacting just aggravated. I think.

 

[NaeNae75]

I'm not sure. Maybe you're on edge from not feeling well. It's hard to deal with other people when you don't feel well yourself. It's funny because when I don't feel well, I hate feeling questioned... Or talking to people period.
But when I hear noises I don't recognize easily, I ask a lot of questions too. Otherwise my brain goes crazy trying to figure it out. I feel like a dog with it's ears perked up.
So I see both sides on this one... sorry if that doesn't help.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I don't do bumps in the night well, either, even if they are the assumed to be very much expected ones.

My nervous system won't relax until the mystery is solved.

When I hear a noise it must be investigated until I know the source and can rest comfortably again.

Even though I know it's just me and hubby in the house out in the woods away from others makes no difference.

Even a louder than usual sneeze can take me down, although I know it's in no way done intentionally to cause me harm.

I can imagine it makes our supporters feel a bit trapped and frustrated in what is also supposed to be their comfort zone, too.

It's complicated, no matter the viewpoint, that's for sure.

 

[Snowflakes]

@Sighs I follow your posts very carefully, not so much by what your vet is doing, because of where you are. More than you know, I understand being in the rabbit hole. I’ve been there and it’s a terrible place to exist because it sucks the joy out of living.

Another person I followed very closely was @Sweetpea76 because she made me realize that I did not have the power to change my sufferer but I did have the power to change me. Between her and going to my own therapist, I learned to let go and slowly dig my way out of the rabbit hole.

Sighs, I’m not suggesting you do anything different. I write this to simply let you know that I’ve been there and I can feel what you’re going through. Somewhere in your path there will be peace. It really doesn’t get easier from a daily living perspective until the sufferer learns to manage their illness and the supporter learns to manage their reactions but I can tell you that daily peace within ourselves can help pull us out of that rabbit hole.

Sweetpea76 taught me to not take things personally. At first, I couldn’t figure out how to do that. Over time I learned to let go, to take care of me in small ways. I learned that the life together I had envisioned was never going to be; that PTSD had irrevocably changed both our lives. Letting go and accepting that helped me climb out of the rabbit hole.

A gentle hug if appropriate. I truly empathize with your feelings. I wish you and your vet well.

Take care.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I get it.

It's just aggravating for @Sighs because if she was the one yelling the questions he'd rip her a new one. Patience blah blah, compassion blah blah... sometimes the supporter gets to be an asshole too. We're not saints. We get burnt out. We get sick too. Where's our patience and compassion?

Sometimes it's just fine and dandy to be irritated with your partner and his PTSD. She didn't yell back at him or get smart with him... she knows he's hypervig. She absolutely took his condition into consideration before acting or speaking... However, I get the internal commentary. I've probably said "f*ck you" to my vet in my brain 2000 times.

Feel better soon @Sighs. Feeling sick on top of caregiver burnout is no fun.

 

[NaeNae75]

I get it.

It's just aggravating for @Sighs because if she was the one yelling t...

This.... absolutely this!

 

[Sweetpea76]

And knowing @Sighs, if the situation were reversed she'd be waiting on her ill partner hand and foot. He wouldn't have to get out of bed to get a drink because she'd have his tea by the bedside for him.

 

[CatInTree]

I'm sorry if I was too harsh.

 

[Freida]

sometimes the supporter gets to be an asshole too.

And this is why I stalk @Sweetpea76 --- Sometimes I need a smack upside the head to remember that the supporters sometimes suffer as much as the sufferers do.