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I kind of experience something similar but with feet swelling and tingling in my leg. There are rare cases of it being psychological and since my test results are normal besides a slight increase in white blood cells, I believe that might be the case for me too. I’ve noticed there are times...

I’m an atheist. Grew up Christian but eventually became agnostic in high school after a World Religions class. I found spiritual stuff after a friend on college introduced me to tarot readings on YouTube. I went down that rabbit hole Twin flame journey, ancestor, and talking to spirits. After a...

Thank you journaling it out was able to help. It was easier to get some work done. You are definitely right. It just feels like I’m not cared for. It’s a big wound I have that I haven’t gotten over yet. Maybe because it took so long to realize what love and care should look like. I still don’t...

I thought taking a day or two off work to work through some of the cognitive beliefs holding me back would help. But coming back things are the same. It’s like more things pop up instead that are so random and don’t fit the situation at all. I really hate it. I know being frustrated at the...

Honestly, it’s tough to answer because what counts as “virginity”? If it’s no penetration, then I would say 18. If it’s no sexual activity, I’d say when I was assaulted at 10 or 11.

You made me realize something. A lot of the time I’m alone when they come up to me. I tend to prefer the side streets since they are empty but that could be emboldening the people. I also tend to wear headphones since I like listening to music or podcasts when I’m walking but that definitely...

So true. It’s definitely a learned trait from childhood and it’s a trait the women in my family have. I’ve seen it. And that fawn response has definitely made me stick around and even take sexual assault out of fear of violence. It’s something I’m working on for sure.

Yea. I just think it would be easier if weird messaging around sex and relationships and women’s bodies wasn’t so pervasive. But it’s probably not a societal problem and just a segment of humanity that just happens to be loud and aggressive, go figures. That was a generalization on my part.

@arfie @Ecdysis That sounds nice, knowing that it will end eventually. I just wish society’s view of sex and relationships would change. Then women would less to deal with and fear and maybe older women would be treated with more respect instead of being totally invisible.

He seems to hyper-focused on this subject. I can’t remember if you said he had some sort of trauma or mental illness but it’s not healthy that he can’t stop telling you about it. Maybe can poach the subject with him. Some self-awareness and discipline is needed here.

I can usually tell when they are being polite and neighborly. It’s a different look and act. People wanting to be friendly don’t scream at you from their moving vehicles or ogle you with “predator eyes” as I like to call them. I’m more friendly and I’ll smile more when I sense it’s just...

@Jade- @mamachick @Friday I think you guys are right. Evidence from my own life has shown that when I’m more confident and comfortable with myself, the people who would normally cause issues for me become meek. I think it’s just childhood programming making me still want to hide and make...

I aspire to this. Sometimes I can muster this like the time a guy yelled at me but other times I cannot like the times I was followed or touched. Part of the beliefs from my trauma is that I cannot show anger or I’ll be met with an even greater show of anger or force. So it tends not to come out...

From my walk around the neighborhood. Love walking by it.

Thank you! That makes a lot of sense. I think I have this belief that I should show interest in others because not doing that would imply they are inferior. But that’s just a thought error. I don’t know enough about the person to be interested.

When I’m walking around, I try to not look at anyone and keep my head down or look straight. When a guy says “Hi”, I briefly say “Hi” back and go on my phone or look straight ahead. I instinctively pay as little attention to them as possible. But I think this might come across as dismissive or...

Anger Triggers I’ve discovered that I get angry when I need to do something because admitting needs automatically means failure in my mind. It’s virtually impossible not to need something. From food to sleep to money, living requires things to survive. Needs just mean that I’m still alive which...

Just played Dream Daddy. The puns and dad jokes are glorious.

On Being Sociable I’m very much antisocial. I don’t want to put myself out there to others out of fear of repeating trauma. I don’t want to be exposed to certain people again so I don’t interact with others, particularly strangers. I don’t know them and I don’t trust that they won’t be like...

That’s what I really want. But it feels like I’ll never find that.

On Relationships I realize that I still think I have no choice in matters as if I’m a child. I always have a choice. I just have to choose what is good for me and what I like or am interested in. A part of me feels like a hypocrite for wanting someone who can do the things I wasn’t able to do...

That sounds great. I hope to find someone that I can gradually get to know like that. I find myself not really being interested in a lot of people and if I am, it’s usually because I’m being drawn to them and feel like I have no choice but to go with it. This sounds so wholesome and sweet. I...

Sometimes the mind produces images and thoughts it knows we don’t like or would find distressing. It taunts us just like abusers would. In those moments, it’s good to calmly challenge it each time it comes up. You can say something like this isn’t appropriate at the moment or I’m not a dog.

I realized that I get overwhelmed by relationships because a part of me thinks I’m getting too big for my breeches by wanting more for myself. It doesn’t just apply to relationships but other aspects of my life too like career. I think it comes from my family always telling me that I couldn’t...

I had moments of peace and serenity today. It was really nice. I could think clearly and I felt like I was whole. I felt so smart too like I really had all my mental faculties. It didn’t last long but it was a glimpse into how I could live if I keep challenging the negative thoughts and...