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I don't know. I probably won't have a reply. Based on the memories I do have of the two of them, I can probably guess pretty close to how they will react. Which is that their reaction will be blown totally overboard over me removing photos of myself from the house, as though I slashed their...

I'm just getting rid of all the photos of me. There's only 4 of them. I don't know if I am right or wrong, but I feel that I have the right to get rid of them. I've put them in the trash and they will disappear forever tomorrow. I guess it's not really about her stuff, that is driving me up the...

Well don't be too impressed just yet. I smashed their wedding photo and then later cleaned up the glass and put it in the trash. It was a photo of my mother, her husband, his children, my brother and myself on their wedding day. In the photo I look like a drug addict from so much sleep...

I think I'm just going to grab an umbrella and go for a walk for a while. I can't stop thinking about destroying everything they own in this house. Destroying it and/or taking it all out to the curb in trash bags to be carried off to the dump tomorrow morning by the trash truck. All my mother...

I think I understand how you feel in some ways. When my emotions are on full throttle I actually tend to go on some pretty passionate rants, have a few in my post history even on this site. But I can also understand why it is sometimes difficult to press charges even when there are obvious...

I don't really have anyone in my life who I can talk with about something like this. Although I am grateful that this forum community exists, so that at least I can vent it out a bit here. Kind of helps me not lose my mind while alone in this house. My younger brother and I are hanging out this...

I don't think there is anything in the clips that would constitute any sort of retroactive legal action. They are mean and sadistic in their nature, and the one clip is kind of bordering on CP but then he actually was abusive like that, but that part I can't prove. I have internal scar tissue...

I don't know why they would have saved these clips on DVD and stored them all this time. It feels like the twilight zone. I really can't bring myself to destroy them. My mother has been on a major gaslighting campaign pretty much my whole life, so something like these DVDs is a rare opportunity...

To me they are one and the same. There is no difference between a gut feeling and a PTSD response at a base level. People with PTSD have had traumatic experience(s) in which their brain learned to identify certain factors as a threat. This is how the human brain learns to identify threats in...

Not too long ago I was rummaging around in my mother's basement for a movie to watch (she and her husband have a large but messy collection and I was allowed to borrow something to watch) and found some old home/family videos from when I was very little in a box. They were originally on VHS but...

Hey everyone. I hope we all got through the holiday without any crazy drama. In the end I used grey rock successfully for yet another year. My mother handed me the shirt and kept trying to prompt me to say something about it. But I didn't say a single word and just walked away, and the threw...

I just got very used to never asking for advice or help, very early in life, and it has stayed with me to present day. I find the process of trial and error, learning for myself through experience and mistakes, to be far less stressful than depending on others and then being betrayed or...

I have been there plenty of times myself so I get it to an extent. In regards to having moments of feeling especially vulnerable and really just needing some emotional nurturing, and there is nobody who can provide it. And then ending up desperately reaching out to the closest possibly...

For those who grew up with abusive mothers, especially if your mother is still alive. Every year I manage to avoid any insane conflict or drama by using the grey rock method. Last year was a little awkward but grey rock worked. My golden child brother wrote my mother a 5 page letter all about...

I took a long break from this forum for a while, and unfortunately what has brought me back is this issue. Not at all unfortunate that this place exists, I mean thank goodness it does, because I had pretty much nowhere else to go to be able to relate with others about these particular things...

About half of my nightmares are blatantly connected to trauma. And about half of my nightmares are general anxiety manifest in the most bizarre ways. I mean really, some of my nightmares are so incredibly absurd that when I wake from them, half of me is in an extremely distressed state and...

You nailed it; it's right here! You need to be able to tell her everything while feeling confident that she won't judge you or reject you. That's what you need from her in order to open up more and make more progress.

I made a deal with myself so many years ago that if I ever decided to commit suicide, that instead I would go be homeless somewhere nice, even if I had to get there on foot. And so I would either die trying to get there, or die while being there and homeless. Although of course the actual moment...

If it would help you with any validation or processing or the like, this is a pretty decent summary article of some of the foundation's research a while back. It is lengthy but succinct in its presentation of information. The research has advanced well beyond these findings by now, but this is...

I am familiar with this feeling. Many people will mean very well in offering CBT type advice because they care. However, if your physiological anxiety just keeps building to the point where you are convinced that you are going to freak out and do something drastic, it is best to just go to the...

Yes, chronic stress in infancy and throughout early childhood raises cortisol levels in the brain, which is very toxic for certain parts of the brain, especially a very young and developing brain. In particular is causes the cells in the hippocampus to die, often resulting in an abnormal and...

Children only know what they are exposed to. At any age, if a child is thinking about something, that means that the child was exposed in some way to that sort of thing. to the element(s) of that thought. There are no ifs/ands/or/buts about this. Talking facts and objective reality here. Now a...

I also struggled with this for many years. In the end, I decided that I didn't really care anymore. After years of reading everything I could find on psychopathy, the dark triad and so on, the neurology of it, the biology of it, the psychology of it. In the end it doesn't matter to me what...

I think that sometimes that is an intentional part of systematic abuse, in regards to the psychological abuse / brainwashing elements. Children don't want to believe that such horrific things are happening. That is how trauma, dissociation and so on happens in childhood in the first place; the...

Most sexual predators are evil. Psychologists have gone to great lengths attempting to define evil in more professionally respected ways, from Hare's checklist naming it "psychopathy" to neurological research on the brains of prison inmates who have committed especially vile acts to lengthy...