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Thanks for the insight. It reminded me of how complicated the situation is and helped to see more clearly again. I mean I understand her, but over time it all just becomes the norm and then you don’t really see it anymore. She never gets a break even for a day. The father is an awful person that...

You are right and this is one important aspect. However the issue is that with my best friends it is like family and I care about the kids. I support her daughter and if that wasn't the case I probably would have stepped out of this situation years ago. I'm the most important attachment figure...

I think that came across completly wrong. I'm burned out on giving people the stability they need and I want to meet people that don't depend on this. I don't need anyone to support me actively (which would be nice but is completly unrealistic). The point is that it feels like people around me...

I really don't know. I'm bad at approaching people but friends that don't expect any prolonged help would balance it out. I'm completly stuck in this situation, or at least it feels like that. I guess I have tunnel vision because of the past few years.

Movingforward10 Yes, it is complicated because these problems are intertwined. I don't know what exactly the root of that overwhelming feeling is. I can set boundaries etc. but I still might get triggered. Asatantrosa You described pretty much how I feel in these situations, with their...

I think I realized what the core of the problem is. If no one is there (people around me being unstable and thus self-centered, not seeing me) something bad happens. I think it triggers me in a way. And I'm in a situation where this constantly repeats. This is also the reason why I can't fully...

I don't understand a word so don't ask me 😀

Is there a thread for funny videos?

I can't reply to everyone but thank you for the kind responses. Exactly. Regarding my father I set some boundaries because when it mattered he just made it worse recently. Did not meet or call him, this is why he wrote that message. The issue is that they are self-centered, not consciously...

I forgot something important. My best friend has a big part in why I got triggered and why I'm here on this forum. My father also played a role because he was so self centered and burdened me additionally in a very stressful time just before I was triggered. There is more. Interesting how all of...

I don't even know where to start. Given the circumstances I can manage everything well. But the people around me can be a real burden and it hurts me to say this. I already set more boundaries, the post is more about how that insecure environment affects me. My father is an alcoholic. I blocked...

I found an interesting study about selective mutism, it mentions an "unsafe world" model. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00702-021-02404-1 This relates to how I even feel today as an adult despite not going mute anymore. There was only one therapist who understood my behavior as...

Teriyaki Tofu with rice. Here is a korean fast food restaurant and I just needed to find out how they make the sauce and the tofu, got pretty close and I love it.

There are good therapists but it can be hard to find them. I'm still searching. I would advice against psychedelics, especially against the use of it without a therapist that supports it and has knowledge, it just is too risky. Propranolol lessens the emotional response, this can be helpful in...

Interesting. With that term I find more information. I only expierenced it back then, in general most symptoms of that time are gone now. I could not talk to a therapist about it which is a big issue for me. Therapists here have no capacity and then I still need to find someone that has some...

I had a very difficult time over half a year ago, something triggered me. After weeks of struggling I just fell asleep while staying conscious when something was too much emotionally. My head nods forward, I start breathing heavily, and it looks like I'm asleep, but I'm still conscious. It only...

The therapist I mentioned in the diary was a senior therapist of a clinic I stayed in 10 years ago, she practically is an expert on trauma, she runs her own therapy practice now. Sadly this time it wasn't possible to go there so I found another clinic like 5 hours away. This new clinic I was in...

Update with my experience. I felt like crap when I arrived. Just two days before I arrived I experienced something extremly stressful, so I was mentally and physically exhausted and could not even say how I feel. I didn't manage to take part in group settings the first day. After the weekend on...

Propranolol can ease the pain immensely, it lessens the emotional response. So maybe consider that.

I take ADHD very serious and I feel with people who suffer from it. I successfully persuaded a friend to have her son tested for ADHD before starting elementary school. Only with medication he was able to succeed in school. The point of my post was that I needed to vent, it is not about ADHD but...

The most important part of trauma therapy is that you feel safe when you confront yourself with traumatic memories. The point is not to work through it and get done with it no matter what. Take your time and don't let anybody ever push you.

Yes, this sounds like constricted thinking. It can help to find small opportunities to take action. It’s important to break out of this way of thinking, even if it’s difficult right now. Recognize the aggression that has been directed against yourself and find out where it comes from. Don’t give...

I had similiar experiences. I don't think it has anything to do with culture but with bad therapists, and there are plenty. I didn't want to talk about trauma related stuff in detail on the first phone call (which here is just to make an appointment mostly) and the therapist berated me how...

@Charbella My goal is not to offend you but I want to say how it is. After all I used the topic to vent about my struggles with friends and family who have (severe and unmedicated) ADHD. I might have a very mild case of ADHD myself, at least I have an uncertain suspected diagnosis and it runs in...