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  1. D

    Self-compassion leads to destructive thoughts?

    First, I'm not actively suicidal or self-harming or anything. But I had a bit of a revelation in therapy today, and it's kind of unexpected? I guess I'm wondering if this makes sense to anyone, or any thoughts on how to shift this. My T started EMDR with me a couple of months ago--I'm only...
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    What does receiving empathy feel like to you?

    When people offer you empathy...that is, they give you a healthy, empathetic response to something you're struggling with...how does that make you feel? What happens for you on the inside? My T and I recently uncovered a new insight into why I don't feel "connected" with people. (I'm autistic...
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    "Inner child" talk not helping?

    Every so often my T brings up the topic of my "inner child" and lately it's come up more often. I started studying about inner child work over 2 decades ago, and I've honestly tried to embrace that kind of approach to healing. But it's been completely useless for me. Sometimes it's even been...
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    Gaslighting vs transference vs over-reactivity vs ???

    I talked with my T today about a conversation with my mom where I felt she de-valued some of my contribution to our work (I work with/for her in the family business). It was a significant contribution, requiring a lot of time and energy investment as well as financial from my own resources...she...
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    In family therapy with narc-ish family; reveal aspergers dx?

    I work in the family business, and due to ongoing relationship issues from abuse throughout my childhood, we are now in family therapy (me, my mom, and one sister). My individual T has said that my mom shows both borderline and narcissistic traits, and this is from raw data that I've shared with...
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    Hypervigilance, dissociation, or something else? autoscopic experiences

    I didn't know where to put this, so the "General" category seemed close enough. Autoscopy is the experience of seeing yourself. I'm not sure that's the exact right term for what I experience, so let me explain... I recently was in a group conversation with someone who was having trouble...
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    Does "validation" actually help you?

    My T seems to be doing this whole "validation" thing correctly...following the correct protocols or whatever. But it doesn't do anything for me. Over the past three years, I've seen 4 different therapists regularly for a season (regular T for 2.5 years, 6 months of that time with an equine T...
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    Trauma t is out of ideas

    Trauma T told me he's out of ideas on what to try next to treat the trauma. I started seeing him in May when my long-term T moved out of state. I was in the middle of a crisis with my mom, so that's been the main focus for the past few months. Then recently, I told him I didn't want to waste...
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    Wrong name

    My new T keeps calling me by my sister's name...the sister who is my emotionally abusive mom's golden-child and who I struggle to get along with. I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose, and I have pointed it out, and he did apologize. But he keeps doing it, even in writing. There are no other...
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    My T Is Moving Away. What Would You Ask?

    My regular T, the one I like so much, is moving out of state. I just found out on Friday. At first I was absolutely devastated. I'm slowly shifting into a more productive place, so now I'm wondering what all I need to accomplish between now and his move (scheduled for June). Background: This is...
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    Questions From Trauma T Feel Manipulative

    First, I know the right response is to talk it out with her. I've already written a long letter exploring my thoughts on her comments, and I can bring it in at our next session to help work some of this out. What I want to know is...is there any validity at all to my feeling like this was a...
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    Feeling Lost...just A Complaint

    T suggested I try EMDR, and that requires working with a different T for a while since the T I've been seeing for nearly 2 years isn't trained in it. He told me about 3 options: 2 women and 1 man. I prefer working with male Ts because of emotional abuse from my mom. But due to the nature of...
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    Why Feel Someone Else's Sadness?

    When you've shared a piece of your story with someone, what effect does it have on you for that person to tell you they feel really sad for what happened to you, or angry, or "my heart is breaking for you", or whatever? I guess due to my asperger's, I used to think people were making it up when...
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    Being Mothered And Being Fathered

    I just watched this Alan Robarge video: https://youtu.be/KAWcnFP-4Oc He talks about how the internal construct of "mother" is different from the actual person who I call Mother, who is also different from the universal archetype of mothering. So, I totally get the first distinction. I don't...
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    Making A Friend... For Real... What's "safe"?

    Between Asperger's and CPTSD and depression, I've never really had real friends. There have been people who would let me hang out with them, but I was always "performing" to try to look kinda sorta normal and try to fit in, so no one ever really knew me. Even with my DH, I've tried to play the...
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    "babysitting" Nephew... Worried I Can't Handle Him (boundaries Question)

    My nephew is almost 13. He was adopted from Europe as a toddler, and although he's physically healthy, he has some emotional issues. Also, my BIL and his ex haven't done a great job of handling nephew's issues (or their own). Nephew is very difficult to control at times, and I've seen my BIL...
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    How Do You Typically Feel When You Leave A Session?

    Do you tend to feel better or worse than when you went in? Are your sessions typically comforting or destabilizing overall? About 90% of the time, I leave the session feeling significantly worse than when I went in. The few times I feel better are usually because T said something that gave me a...
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    Mom Posted Youtube Video...ideas On Response?

    I haven't been around in a long while. I was dx'ed with Asperger's early this year, and went through several months of just trying to figure out what it means to have a relationship of any kind with anyone, so I've spent a lot of time alone thinking these things through. Something happened this...
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    What Does A Resolved Memory Feel Like?

    Once you've resolved a memory, how does it feel different? Does it not intrude into your thoughts anymore? Does it not overwhelm you with the experience of remembering it? Does it not interfere with your ability to do normal things? Haven't quite been able to wrap my mind around what this...
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    Is Emdr Contraindicated When You're Still Struggling With Occasional Si?

    I think I've mostly overcome the SI crap. A week ago, I emailed my T asking about who to talk to for EMDR, but when I saw him today, he didn't give me any information. To be fair, I forgot to ask him, too. But I was wondering if perhaps he decided I wasn't ready yet, since I experienced a brief...
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    Other Autism... formal dx this week

    About a year and a half ago, I started suspecting I have autism. Spent all these months learning more about it, and finally decided to get a formal assessment. The evaluator said I'm most definitely on the spectrum. My score was very high. I feel relieved to have this question settled, but...
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    How To Be Present With Yourself?

    Unlike a lot of people from codependent families, I don't have any trouble at all being alone. The hard part is being around other people. But a couple of weeks ago in one of my sessions, I realized that I don't really know how to be "present" with myself, rather than fantasizing about...
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    What Do You Think Is The Purpose Of Existence?

    Different personality types have different "highest values" in life, so I don't think there's ONE right answer: http://personalitygrowth.com/the-biggest-inspiration-for-each-personality-type/ But this came up during my session this past week. Somehow during the conversation, I mentioned that I...
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    When You Share Your Feelings...

    ...do you feel closer to the person you shared them with (assuming they respond in a loving way)? Like...here's a quote from an Link Removed that describes the phenomenon fairly well: Today in my session, we talked about how alone I feel inside, and then worked on trying to help me identify...
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    What Is Your Subconscious "goal" For Therapy?

    Okay, so, maybe a difficult-to-impossible question to answer. But thinking about it helps me clarify my purpose for each session. Like...sometimes I realize that all of my expectations for a particular session are subconsciously geared towards trying to finally convince someone that I'm truly...
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