Search results

Sure, there are things that have helped, though not necessarily formal or typical "therapy". Acupuncture helped shift the depression to not be so heavy. Yoga helped me get my body moving and able to look at certain parts and not feel so repulsed. (I think part of that was always "seeing" my...

For me, it had to become...this is something I want you to know, not necessarily something designed to direct an ongoing conversation. But my T often had at least a couple of questions, and his curiosity about something I wanted him to know helped me open up at least a little bit. And sometimes...

I don't know if this might be helpful... For me, I only started making progress on this front when I changed my focus. Now it's not so much about trusting the T as it is trusting myself and choosing for myself what I want to be and what work I want to do. The fear isn't gone at all, and we've...

Yes, true. One of the problems of codependency for me is that it takes away my own sense of choice for myself. If someone does something nice for me, even if it isn't something I asked for or wanted, I feel a sense of obligation back to them, as if I then have no right to say "no" back to them...

Each of my 4 kids has traits somewhat similar to me as a child. But none of them to the extent of my traits. At any rate, I do love my kids, and recognize they each deserve protection, respect, and being cherished. I know if there were a kid in front of me who was much more like me as a child...

This is very similar to one of the earlier methods I tried, actually...it was part of a church-based "inner healing" program where you're supposed to visualize Jesus showing up in the traumatic event and changing something...like taking your place, or rescuing you, or whatever. I tried earnestly...

Isn't that where codependency falls apart, though? In codependency, we do things for people out of a need to be needed so they won't reject us. It actually removes the other person's freedom to choose or not choose the relationship. I agree, though, that loyalty and respect are legitimate...

Many people have suggested this analogy. It's more like having a completely different operating system, though. No matter how well I learn to communicate in the neurotypical language, there will always be a translation process that maintains a gap between my sense of self and others. I'll never...

Yeah, that makes sense if that's what you're going for. But that's really trusting yourself, not the horse...assuming the horse is sufficiently trained (which then is trusting the trainer, not the horse). I think equine therapy can be a lot more helpful for someone who's never been around...

Building trust? No, not at all. I don't see horses as being responsible for me in any way, more something that I would care for if it was my responsibility to do so. I did discover some helpful information about myself, though. In one of the sessions where we simply stood there and watched the...

I suppose if you've not been around horses much, it could be very helpful. Horses pick up on your fear or your peace. So you'll see the difference as you learn to calm your nerves--you'll get quick feedback on that, and it helps you to monitor your own expressions of anxiety to affect the...

I tried. This was the first year I was in therapy with professionals, and I had gotten in such bad shape emotionally before I took that plunge because of the financial challenges of paying for it. There were several times, though, that I did express my frustration at not knowing what I was...

Every so often my T brings up the topic of my "inner child" and lately it's come up more often. I started studying about inner child work over 2 decades ago, and I've honestly tried to embrace that kind of approach to healing. But it's been completely useless for me. Sometimes it's even been...

I guess that's what I kept expecting, and why I kept at it for 6 months. But you'd think something more would happen within 6 months?? It was so frustrating and pointless. And it was a year we really couldn't afford that extra expense, so that made it even more frustrating. My DH ended up having...

I did equine therapy for about 6 months. It was mostly a waste of time and money. The T I worked with seemed to think that I would naturally interact with the horses in a way that would be helpful, with no guidance from her...I guess as if interacting with a large, instinctual animal like that...

I get this. Both my Ts have suggested my mom has BPD, and she was dx'd with mult. personality dis. in the early 90s. It's like every event was about how she was feeling, and it never occurred to her that I might experience an event differently than she did. Just a couple of weeks ago, she was...

My individual T actually pays really close attention to what I say, most of the time. The past few weeks, especially, his insights have been really helpful in organizing my thoughts as I prepare for each family session. It's the family T that I'm not sure is really paying attention. At this...

I'm beginning to think this might possible...not so sure about my sister, though. And honestly, I'm struggling a bit with whether I even want to still try to work things out with them. I held on for so long and put up with so much, and now I have an opportunity to get free of it. Do you ever...

Yes, I've done a boat-load of research on both these topics, and it's really good stuff. I understand the theory of it, just not much about the how-to of it. What other people say works for them, doesn't make sense to me. They say things like, "You need to separate psychologically"..."you need...

Yeah, I don't think she hates me in the plain sense of that term, but I do think she wants me to be someone I'm not, essentially rejecting the person I really am and trying to force me to be something else...although I think she's now working on that some. In family therapy, I think she's...

So apparently the way to get my mom to want me to stay on the team...is to agree to separate and propose terms of separation. Last week, I offered them terms of separation, using their proposal as the starting point and simply adding more detail to cover some more areas that could be points of...

My T today agreed. Then he said this is basically the very definition of codependency. Or they might blame me for the stress they're about to put themselves under. Really, it was already going to be intense with all three of us. I have no idea how they'll manage with just the two of them, even...

Okay, that makes more sense. I need to watch people more and see if I notice the kinds of switching in them that I've seen in her. I sent him that one email last week. He emailed back that he wants to discuss it more so he can understand better. I'm not sure I have a good way to explain it...

I think this is definitely where they started, and basically said as much at the most recent session. They said they had been waiting for me to get back to being who I used to be, the "me" they all liked. The famT explained that was the unhealthy-me, and the way I am now is actually the...

This is something to think about. But what follows... ...there just isn't a way to express my emotions directly. As far as authentic, external emotional expression goes for me...there are basically two settings: anxiety, or apathy...and sometimes anticipation, although that's more of a special...