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  1. L

    What are healthy relationships like?

    A healthy relationship involves: - Accountability, your partner being able to admit when they have been wrong and to apologise. - Being able to feel what you feel, without being made to feel bad, too sensitive, wrong or have your feelings ignored or minimised - Not feeling on edge or...
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    Small things, great victories. What’s yours?

    I relocated to another part of the country for the cheaper rent and quieter lifestyle, uprooted my life and moved to set up a new life for me and my husband when he gets here (he lives abroad). I did it, all of the organising bills, working whilst settling in as much as I could. After 6 weeks...
  3. L

    do you have a supportive partner? what does that support look like for you?

    My husband does not really understand PTSD, he had never heard of it until I explained it to him and he did some research. He is not from the UK and comes from a country where generally there is significantly less mental health awareness and understanding. Despite that he supports me by...
  4. L

    I got married in February this year

    After experiencing SA in 2012 when I was 24, keeping it to myself and not telling a soul for 4 years, In 2016 I eventually told a couple of people I could trust. There was a pattern during those 4 years of being very unsettled, feeling very lost. PTSD symptoms flashbacks, hyper-vigilance...
  5. L

    Does anyone else wake up with a really uneasy / unsettled feeling but not remember dreams? What helps you shake it off?

    Could be a trigger from watching a Netflix documentary, not realising it was so triggering. Could be a conversation or memory or even a person that reminds me but I must say being triggered so much has not happened in a good few months, maybe even a year which feels massive. I woke up this...
  6. L

    Boyfriend said “I love you” and it was really triggering

    Sounds like you need time to let this sink in and allow yourself to feel safe with him. Have you spoken to him about what happened and does he know about the trauma you’ve experienced?
  7. L

    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    This week I kept waking up sweating and feeling like I’d been chased or had been through something really stressful. Was on high alert and didn’t feel rested, know I had a nightmare but didn’t know what it was about exactly and couldn’t remember but was just left with an intense unnerving...
  8. L

    Managing my inner critic while in a new relationship - very vulnerable post

    The fact that he has also experienced trauma and gets it is really a good thing. It’s much worse when the person doesn’t get it and doesn’t have any patience or willingness to try to understand. Thank you for posting this as I can relate especially to the self destructive behaviours - looking...
  9. L

    Writing A Letter To Get Closure

    Eve, I think it's very brave and I hope you find it to be a healing process. I know that as you said you will not be sending the letter but the fact that you will be expressing those thoughts and feelings by writing them down will hopefully be a release and also perhaps help you to make sense of...
  10. L

    Medical Overdue smear. Hate myself

    @Libs40 I am in the UK and was due to have my smear in January, put it off and found excuses but have it booked for April. I experienced sexual assault about 7 years ago, almost 8 yrs now. I've had two smears before and it makes a huge difference who does it. The first one wasn't pleasant but...
  11. L

    Triggered by him sharing way too much information. How can I keep myself safe and communicate my feelings

    Thank you so much @Friday I agree with this and I have had time to centre myself and think about where the triggers are coming from and what was my own stuff to deal with and what about his comment was genuinely overstepping the mark. Today I am feeling more level headed and have been...
  12. L

    Triggered by him sharing way too much information. How can I keep myself safe and communicate my feelings

    I dated a guy around four years ago, I was really into him and he was really into me. I was falling for him but got scared because that same year I came face to face with the person who sexually assaulted me a few years before. The trauma I had suppressed for years resurfaced and I just couldn't...
  13. L

    Mum is stuck due to past trauma and now I am staying with her

    I am determined to find my own place, so not afraid of getting stuck living with her but I think it's more a fear of being like her and as she has been single for 31 years and I am recently single even though it is irrational and I know our situations are completely different I feel a sense of...
  14. L

    Mum is stuck due to past trauma and now I am staying with her

    Thank you @Invisible Fire I am in therapy. I was with a therapist for two and a half years and worked on assertiveness and putting boundaries in place with my dad, it also helped with my relationship too. I have just started with this new therapist about a month ago and it feels realistic for me...
  15. L

    Mum is stuck due to past trauma and now I am staying with her

    My birthday is coming up soon and my mother started to tell me the story about when I was born, what it was like when her waters broke, when my dad took her to the hospital etc and how my grandma was the first person to hold me etc. It's a story I have heard before but this time she went into...
  16. L

    What do you need emotionally right now, and why?

    I need to move my body by exercising, something I don't do often enough lately apart from walking. I have an exercise bike and haven't used it in months. Today I'm going to listen to an upbeat playlist and use the bike. Cycle and keep cycling until I feel connected with myself again so that I...
  17. L

    Trauma and isolation

    @airdog I can relate to this absolutely and I have learnt to filter myself when speaking to certain people - this is a double edged sword in a way because speaking up and expressing how I feel is so important after feeling silenced for years about the trauma, finding my voice was a big part of...
  18. L

    Anticipating lockdowns and mental health symptom spikes

    @Justmehere you sound like you are a people person and thrive on the connections you have with others which is such a great thing, particularly with PTSD and the feelings of disconnection and dissociation that can come with it. Making those connections no doubt make you feel alive and I can...
  19. L

    How long have you been struggling / diagnosed with PTSD and what help have you gotten?

    Diagnosed 7 years ago. When first diagnosed, had CBT for a few weeks and was on SSRI medication for 4 years. Have had long term therapy for the past three years and doing much much better. Have been in a long term relationship for 4 years and life has been so much more settled. I do still...
  20. L

    Sufferer Complex PTSD following spousal abuse

    Welcome Pythia ☺️ first of all thank you for sharing, I can imagine it would not have been easy typing that and reliving those memories. I understand your inability to talk sometimes but want to say your post was very clear and you described your situation so well that I am sure many of us...
  21. L

    Sufferer PTSD since 1997 - Sexual Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Psychological Abuse, Bullying, Verbal Abuse, Rape, Homophobia

    Welcome Leeshee ☺️ Thank you for sharing, I know that can't have been easy and I am sure there are many people here who have had similar experiences. I am sorry that you have had these experiences and have endured complex trauma. You achieved a lot despite everything, went to college, had a good...
  22. L

    why do i do this?

    This used to happen frequently just after after the trauma had happened and for the first couple of years I couldn’t string a written sentence together. I was studying and struggled to write essays when this had never been an issue for me prior to the trauma. It was really frustrating and I...
  23. L

    dissociation as a defense mechanism

    Sounds like your survival instinct kicking in and you do what you need to do when you visit your parents. If you feel it works for you and helps you to get through your visits then fair enough, maybe it acts as boundary between you and them to keep yourself safe emotionally. I do agree with what...
  24. L

    Feeling Disconnected from everyone

    I hope you are feeling better, sounds like the change of meds has helped. Can totally relate to the glass wall feeling and feeling disconnected. Grounding techniques and things that you may have done in the past that made you feel alive and connected - be it listening to a certain type of music...
  25. L

    when I develop feelings trauma resurges

    Strangelongtrip, it sounds like a lot is going on for you at the moment and with the anniversary of your previous relationship ending it seems like that experience would have been occupying some of your headspace which would have been very distracting especially when you have met someone new...
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