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  1. M

    One Mountain Many Paths

    This is a Zen Buddhist thought that there are many ways to reach the top of a mountain. They are referring to different ways of faith and religion. Some of us might find it good to share things that have helped us reach beyond ourselves and our pain and so reach out to our higher power or God by...
  2. M

    Calling All Mpd/did Folks-a Place For Children

    I would like to start this thread so that our little child people can have a place to post whatever they like with any spelling they can manage. A joke: What happens to a duck that flies upside down? He quacks up! Their hurty times: i hate being sticky iky. Their fears: i want to sleep in a...
  3. M

    Hadar Lubin, Psychiatrist

    Hadar is a co-founder of the Post Traumatic Center, in New Haven, Connecticut. They offer group therapies, individual counseling with staff psycologists and Dr. Lubin. I was with them for about 6 years, I think. I can whole heartedly commend people to her empathetic and very professional care.
  4. M

    Medical Post Operative Ptsd Responses

    This past January, I had surgery on a badly broken ankle to screw in metal plates. Post surgery, I was back in my ward and heavily sedated from the anasethesia and morphine. I heard the command, "Hit the dirt!" It was probably from someone's TV. I stood up in my bed, new cast, IVs and all, and...
  5. M

    Great Tee Shirt Slogans

    How to handle stress like a dog If you can't eat it or play with it Then pee on it and walk away
  6. M

    Icons

    Hi folks, I am an iconographer. I'd like to share a little of my work with you. It is good for me to remember the good in the world when I have to deal with so much sad trauma in my own life. Here is an icon I made for a monk in Alaska where Orthodox Christianity was first introduced to the...
  7. M

    Caring For My Whole Family

    Hi Folks. I need some help in caring for my family. I'm sure my PTSD has effected them. One daughter is 32, she often acts as if she hates me with the silent treatment. One daughter is 22. She is tender hearted and so gets hurt feelings really easily. This morning early, the younger one asked...
  8. M

    Sexual Assault Trauma And Triggers

    This summer, I know we will be driving on highways shared by trailer trucks. The ones with store signs don't bother me. It's the blank metal trailers with a door on the side as well as the regular doors on the back that are so triggering. I just stare out the window if someone else is...
  9. M

    Introduction, Trafficked Child

    I am diagnosed with PTSD and DID. My earliest rape, when I was a baby. They ruptured my uterus and made two unguial hernia incisions to sew my uterus down the middle. This was documented by a gynocological surgeon. Her pathology report recorded this after I had a total hysterectomy at the age of...
  10. M

    Disassociation And Marriage

    I disassociate very easily and don't even notice it most of the time. Evidentally, my husband and I have conversations where we can come to an agreement. Then, we discover that the next day or the next hour, I either don't remember the conversation or have a different opinion. He has said a...
  11. M

    Feelings

    I want to use this space/place to talk about the daily difficulties of living. I want to keep my diary as historical and factual as I can. This week, I have been hit hard by my family's reactions to me as I am now, some months after my month away for intensive therapy. I thought that I could...
  12. M

    General Giving Family Members A Book About PTSD

    I have come to you, carers, for help and advise. I have two daughters, 30 and 21, who are often confused by my behavior especially when one of them says something triggering. I can lash out without thinking through what I am about to say. I leave things out to remind me of what I am doing...
  13. M

    Victory Over 20 Years Of Terror

    Some of you may have read in my diary about my being a traffiked child. Once, at the end of a couple of weeks of pleasing and servicing my guest, their vacation was over. I heard them taking normally on the gravel drive about 'lunch next week' or 'a tennis game'. I heard them all drive away. The...
  14. M

    News Brain Function and Genetics

    August 2009 New York Times There have been scientific studies in England that show how our genes have been affected. One of the most recent studies I have read is about brain function. The scientists are studying the impact of our life experiences, brain function and genetics. They found out...
  15. M

    Personality Disorders And The Forum

    I guess the banning of Fin frightens me. I really want to stay. Do I have to leave now? My abuse started when I was really young. I have been diagnosed with MPD which is sort normal for those of us who are hurt very young and for a long time. I think it shows up in different forms for each...
  16. M

    How Do You Cope with Grief

    I know that in my personal history I have a lot of sorrows, deaths, traffiking, traumatic events, suffering, torture, terror....but I am afraid to grieve. I don't know how. If I start to let myself really feel the deep deep sadness and start to cry will I ever stop. It feels as if there is...
  17. M

    Question re Communicating With Other Members

    Dear Nicholette, There is something about how the forum works that I don't quite understand yet. I hope you can help me. When I click on some peoples' names, a screen comes up that says something like I don't have sufficient priviledges to do that? I am really confused. I can link that way...
  18. M

    The Body Remembers - The Psychophysiology of Trauma

    I have been reading a very good book on the physical biochemical responses we humans have to stress and trauma and how it affects our memory, traumatic memory and body memory. The book is The Body Remembers - The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treament by Babette Rothschild and published...
  19. M

    Do You Have Survivor Guilt-How - Do You Deal With It?

    I have a lot of survivor guilt from times when I saw children like me who were too damaged to ever go home again. Child prostition/slavery takes a horrible toll. I have witnessed or held at least 30 children as they died. Sometimes, it is so hard to remain alive....I feel like I failed to...
  20. M

    News Pet Scans Reveal More About Memory

    A recent article in the New York Times (9/5 or 9/6) wrote about a study using PET scans to track memory formation in the brain. The study showed 5 to 7 video clips to a group of epileptics while they were being screened for brain activity. The PET scans showed the hippocampus light up as the...
  21. M

    Intro Poem - Happily Ever After, Child Sex Slave

    I really need to share this, then you can figure out if you still want me here. Happily Ever After You be my princess and I'll be your prince. We'll be dressed in cascades of satin, in aqua and pink. Nestled in bowers of soft gossiping silk, Good little princess, you were born for...
  22. M

    My Childhood Trauma - Trafficked Over 10 yrs

    I am feeling scared as I write this. Silence was drilled into me from early on. My mother was manic-depressive and an alchoholic. She spent a lot of time in psyc facilities usually after she had beaten me badly or had tried to kill me. My Dad tried to be present but he was a Russian...
  23. M

    How Do You Deal With Flashbacks?

    I read Anthony's article on PTSD and how the brain works. I also read Judith Herman's book Trauma and Recovery. I have problems with flashbacks seeming so very real. Sometimes, it is hard to distinguish the present from the past. It is like looking through two overlapping film negatives. The...
  24. M

    Introduction - So Very Alone

    I have been working on my PTSD for many years. I know the events will never go away but I know I can learn how to deal with the triggers and flashbacks better. I am hoping to find someone here whose experiences are similar to mine. i am new here so I don't exatly know what to say next....How...
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