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Welcome to the forum. This is one place where you won't be judged for who you are or what you've gone through. The staff really keeps an eye out for the safety and respect of the members.

In EMDR my therapist tells me to let my anger, fear, resistance, etc, get as big as it needs to get. My normal therapist told me in one of our first sessions that until I deal with my anxiety I won't be able to deal with anything else. I don't "celebrate" that I'm no longer numb. I certainly...

It felt like abuse. The shame, embarrassment and confusion are the same. That's how your therapist has to treat it. Maybe in the future there will be a better way of defining your specific situation. I don't think it matters. The tools your therapist learned to treat abuse should be up to...

I heard recently that the problem isn't only with the original trauma. It's also when you started to discover that what had happened was wrong. I have dissociated a lot. As it comes back I need to do more than just remember. I need to forgive myself (I'll never forgive some people). I need...

The worst reoccurring nightmare I have is when I dream of lying in bed and someone comes in the door. I try to scream but it only comes out as a whimper. I had this dream 2 months ago. Thinking about it right now gives me the willies. But what helped with that nightmare is that my dog heard...

Sexual and physical abuse here. No apologies necessary. I felt the affects of abandonment and indifference as well. My worst emotional abuse experience was of my mom telling me that she would have to move on with her life, and me trying to convince her to stay. At the end I shut off all my...

My PTSD is from childhood abuse. I never saw combat or anything else related to the military that messed me up. However, I was in the military I was hospitalized with S/I. I was in there for 45 days. When I got out I went back to my unit. I had a lot of problems at that time, and even...

Before I actually started EMDR processing my therapist spent months building up my resources. Here are the ones that work for me. 1) Have allies, real or imaginary. These are people who support you no matter what. My favorite of a character from a video game who always has something positive...

I used to fantasize that I was someone who was strong as a child, who knew everything I needed to know, and who could change things if I could only go back. There's no going back. But as others have said, you didn't have the power, knowledge or development to do anything different than what...

First, I right now am questioning memories I know are absolutely true, like when my grandfather molested me. I know it's real, but I don't want it to be. I had another memory of someone warning me if I ever told I'd go to jail. I know when it happened and where, but I am not able to remember...

I'm taking Prazosin to help with the nightmares. It causes my blood pressure to drop so I can only take it at night. It works pretty good, but it's not a cure.

Nice vent. I need to vent sometimes too. When I am in crisis it's hard to function. My current therapist said that when I'm in crisis there is nothing else to treat. I need to get out of crisis. I find something to distract myself. I have a long list of distractors that help me when I'm...

Welcome to the forum. You'll find people here you relate to.

. I have my regular therapist too. I cut down with her to once a month, but I still need the extra feedback.

My therapist said that having all those emotions trapped where I don't have access to them is like holding a beach ball underwater. When whatever was keeping it down there lets loose that beach ball comes to the surface pretty fast.

I started about a year ago. It took about 3 months to actually start processing because I was afraid that it would be a repeat of bad therapy (not EMDR) I had years before. Once it got started we took it really slow. My experience is that EMDR is like riding a train, watching the thoughts...

I've stuck with therapists hoping they would change (sort of like my ex wife). They don't. Will it work sticking it out with this one? Can you ask for a parallel move to another therapist?

Unless you have a history of causing damage when you dissociate you probably won't cause damage now or in the future. Knowing that you are not dangerous might give you some space to regroup. Right now I'm both cussing my parts out and telling them it isn't their fault. It's hard. But it...

Wait, I'm not done. You told me it never happened. You said it was your father's fault, or the alcohol's fault. You said you never were as bad as grandpa or grandma. You beat me to make me go away, to have your way, to make your life manageable. You made it my fault. You said that you...

Here's a rant I wrote for myself earlier this morning. Mom was an ****. I don’t have enough angry words for her. She was selfish and took out that selfishness on her children. I know what was in Mom’s room at the trailer park, and what happened in Mom’s room in the new house. I know I have...

I just read the post you referred to. Yeah, that's me too. I don't like the way I feel today because of the images and shame bubbles up from the past. It seemed as a child the only way I was relevant was to provide inappropriate comfort to others. It really makes me mad to think about...

Growing up in in domestic violence makes it hard for me to recognize a good friend, a good boss, or a good employee. I see everyone through the lens of my childhood. Last year the company I work at went through some really strong growth. In September the owner fired the sales person who...

I've used distractors my whole life. They numb me out, but don't really help. I used every flashback coping technique I could find. They don't do much. So I have worked with my therapist for the last year looking for something new, and I have developed a list of processes that really help...

The more I work on the sexual abuse with my therapist, the more I get triggered. My therapist told me it gets worse before it gets better. That's really true. Remember to be kind to yourself. Those people who hurt you were not.

Thought stopping never worked for me. However, my therapist has a lot of other tools in her tool chest. She kept pulling them out and showing me until I found a few that work for me. I too have issues with past therapists, so this was a long process. It took about 6 months before I felt safe...