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Made beef stew tonight. It smells so good because I'm starving lol. New diet changes! Fighting off all my cravings for sweets. My kids hate stew but they will have to deal with it or dig out some leftovers.

I have gone through very similar experiences and feelings as far as how you describe the Flashbacks. They are physical, audible sometimes. I question their validity. I struggle to believe I'm not somehow forcing these to happen etc. It's a very common response and being here on boards like this...

I have no idea. I've been trying all day to figure out what I feel. I feel disconnected

I admit I did feel a little like a guinea pig, but I also don't know my what her training level is. I should ask her. That said, in today's session I actually felt the movement and distraction were helpful. I got through a very hard memory for the first time. I'm not sure I'd have made it...

Good thought!

This is how T explained it too pretty much so I'm going with it for now. I m willing to go with it as I did feel " better" after. It feels crazy and weird but...so is all of this I guess. Thanks for your input! It helps!

Thank you! Yes I started with paddles and the headphones because I have vertigo issues and have a hard time following the light bar. I actually liked the paddle and headphones. I think she added more because I was struggling before. Following what comes up. I struggle with contol lol. My T...

The extra stuff makes it really hard to focus on the memory. I have multitasking issues normally. I didn't like the extra stuff if I'm honest..because it was so hard to focus. But she said that it's supposed to be. But then I feel frustrated lol. I'm thinking about how to spell a word and there...

Whoops..this was supposed to go in the therapy section...

So my T has been following studies on how adding extra stimulation while doing EMDR is beneficial for some people. So you may use the paddles and tap your feet or count...or tap your arms and say tick toc to the pattern. Or stand and do some sort of rhythmic movement. It's supposed to help you...

Hmm interesting! It's true, colors may need to be for lower level. I've heard sour candy is helpful for disassociatian or if you are in a functional freeze state so I'll have to try that one! The loss of speech for such an extended period was weird, next time it won't be as scary I don't think...

The flashbacks thing is completely new to me. Looking back I can see I had emotional flashbacks alot through the years but these intense body memory flashbacks and stuff have hit me like a train the past few months. I had some super intense ones the past week that sent me into freeze and then...

That's interesting, the different approaches! My T is very much , let the client lead. She is very careful not to insert her own opinions or to say anything that might produce a false memory type thing. I appreciate that, but I also wish she would lead more at times. But EMDR is also meant to be...

I've been thinking I need to do the same. I've been having flashbacks and freeze states during the week I share. But I think I need to just focus on the memory we have been dealing with and put the rest to the side unless it's crazy hard. She said it's like we are playing whack a mole right now...

My last session left me questioning my therapist. She kept forgetting things and getting my flashbacks mixed up. Considering how fragmented thigs are i guess i can understand that. I have to remind her what we use for EMDR ( I don't use the lightbar) and I was starting to disassociate and she...

I have a few similar posts and it seems to be a common response to trauma. To go in and out of acceptance or to connect and disconnect. I am getting more and more floods of memories that have me questioning everything I ever knew. Did I put myself into a disassociatian bubble all this time...

That sounds helpful! In the end it sounds like time...and patience.

Me again..sorry this is a bit long. Last night I has the worst episode of disassociatian I've ever had. It started with a trigger that brought images and body memories out of no where. Totally new. I was taken by total surprise and shock. I got into the shower because I've found feeling the...

I will check that! It definitely sounds like something I might need to try..ugh. Fun times 😆

Generally I don't have any issues with that This is something I was just considering. I'll talk to my husband about it...it may need to be this for awhile

To clarify..if I say no my husband would immediately stop...I know that..and I can't say it when I feel like that.

So, sometimes I have flashbacks during sex and I'm gone. I'm in the flashback. I know it. My husband will ask if I'm okay or want to stop and I won't answer because I feel I deserve what's happening to me and i almost dont want to stop even though its horrible( the CSA.. not the present sex)...

I can identify with being uncomfortable around my dad..it's funny because I also recognize the part of me wanting his approval and attention. But then, if he does or says something to give it...I feel ick. Like recently he complicated my haircut...and my skin just crawled. Which obviously...

I asked a similar question recently. When we do EMDR I notice the next few says are rough. Some suggestions I received were helpful, such as doing prep work to make life easier. Premake meals, set out clothes , work ahead on chores, plan distractions. I'm still figuring out what I need but it...

Wow that describes it so well. It's going to take time for my brain to catch up to the reality of it. It's opened a crack..but man it's hard to break free from something so ingrained in you. It helps to hear someone ( other than my T) say that it isn't proper. Now to work on breaking free...