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I tend to agree with this. Choosing between what I lived through and the above is a no brainer but I wouldn't dismiss it completely. My childhood went straight downhill when my parents divorced at 10. It was so ugly that it went from a divorce case to a criminal case against my Dad because of...

Actually my wife is currently handling it better than me but she's had much longer to process it and I am doing much better. Out of curiosity is your father and boyfriend Chinese as well? If I had to guess I'd say your boyfriend is not since he seems to think like me. If asserting your...

This took too long to respond but I've been here for 2 Aprils but it seems like a very long time ago. This is a unique place. I came because of the difficulty I was having with my wife's rape at the age of 13. I found out who he was through a lot of work during time I would normally spend...

Out of curiosity what did your mother's will say? In estate planning it is not uncommon to put assets into trusts but it has to be 5 or 7 years ahead of time. It may sound like fraud but it's not. What he's doing is fraud but I'm curious if your Mom's will gave you her interest in her house...

What finally did it was when we got a $100k plus judgement that was paid from a conman she trusted and not only never said thank you but threatened to sue me over putting other assets in trusts. Her abusiveness is only rivaled by her incompetence. Property was going to be lost because she had...

I do not have those concerns. My Mom and I think yours do what they damn well please no matter who it hurts. You can play her games and she can still kill herself one day and you will blame yourself regardless of whether you have removed yourself from her life or not. She knows this. You are...

I am not. I am sorry she took what advantages she had in her life and pissed them away including 3 good kids. She's just a bitter old woman at this point that has no quality of life. Her only joy is reaching out causing havoc in whomever's life she is still a part of. There's a chance I...

My relationship with my therapist is by far the strangest relationship I have. She knows pretty much everything about me and I know nothing really about her. I've been sent to be evaluated by a shrink twice as a teenager. One was for the court for my parents divorce the other was when I was...

You can ask me anything for starters. I didn't go to therapy for this but it is where my therapy landed. It has definitely helped. In real life I'm not one to spill out my problems to anyone who will listen. I'm a very private person. You wouldn't know that from my posts here because with...

I've now read you're whole post and I'd say you had it much worse than I did but I stand by my statements above. Your boyfriend is correct that many others have it much worse than you did. I never experienced physical abuse. Just mental and it was very steady. I would describe my Mom's life...

I wouldn't burden myself with worrying about following in your Mom's footsteps. I pretty much cut my Mom out of my life. It was pretty easy since she doesn't leave the house. All I had to do was put her on caller block. What got me to this point was in large part being a father. I came to...

Thanks Zendog. I actually just got back from therapy. Things are much better but I'm not at the point of forgiveness. I have zero desire to give to someone who takes what they want no matter what it is that they want. Forgiveness is actually one of the few things that can not be taken so for...

I got my wife to take it and here are her results: 11 Acts of Service 9 Quality Time 5 Physical Touch 4 Words of Affirmation 1 Receiving Gifts I had a feeling acts of service would score high. Things improved a lot when I started getting up at 5:30 with her and cooking breakfast vs just waking...

I agree on this being an interesting topic. I thought about the inverse as you stated above but the conclusion I came to was a relationship needs sex. When I've been single taking care of myself was not a problem and in fact still do today which I think is normal inside my marriage. It's...

That comment was dead on the money for me as well. She put in words what I didn't understand or know about myself.

9 Physical Touch 8 Quality Time 8 Words of Affirmation 3 Acts of Service 2 Receiving Gifts I am better balanced than I thought. I thought physical touch would have ranked higher as well as gifts since I see sex as a gift. Now to see my wife's results.

I think you are right it's hormonal. I can't obviously speak for the experience from the woman's perspective but I can from the man's perception of what happens. To a large degree I think we misperceive what is actually happening when our libido's seem to match as the beginning. Given the...

You are very intuitive and eloquent which is a great combination. It sounds like we have dated in the past. What you say about some men pretty much describes my feelings to the T. As I write this I see you have posted again and it is excellent as well and hits points I was going to make. To...

Where to start. Do I need sex to wake up tomorrow and the next day and the next day? No. Can I take care of myself? If orgasm were all there was to it yes but it's not close. I would rate masturbation meeting my need for sex as highly as drinking my own urine meeting my need for hydration...

If sex is frequent at the beginning of a relationship and then it is not and is re-traumatizing it is material. Sex is an odd thing in that it is a major part of our existence and future existence but it is not discussed and it should be. A lot of future problems can be avoided if everything...

Got a question. In all my relationships (limited) they followed a similar pattern. In the beginning sex was frequent. This lasts a year or so. Then it tapers off to what is the norm for each persons libido range. Mine is always higher. I've read about it and their are evolutionary reasons...

I'm glad you brought it up. I get the muddy situation your husband was in. I read and listen to what people say to do to prevent rape and I think it is kind of a joke if not just down right unrealistic. Not saying there is consent with any alcohol is wrong whereas a lot of alcohol I can agree...

I do not understand this. If dozens of women have shared their stories with you are you saying that makes their rapists your rapists? Can you elaborate? I am trying to picture a social group made up of many known rapists. Known being I assume you and their victims know? Why can't you out...

I prefer to avoid them if I know what is coming. In my case I didn't have a clue of what I was getting into. I agree what we do when we make one is most important though because they are inevitable. I think guys are strange in this respect. I remember in high school the sociology teacher...

Since it's hard not to like someone who likes you I think you would like me to. If it's not against forum rules I'll send you my number if you would like to have a beer over the phone one day. My therapist made me watch the recent kids movie Inside Out. It looked like it was written and...