My relationship with my therapist is by far the strangest relationship I have. She knows pretty much everything about me and I know nothing really about her. I've been sent to be evaluated by a shrink twice as a teenager. One was for the court for my parents divorce the other was when I was having trouble with my Dad that my Mom pushed on me. Now I've been with my current therapist for a year and a half almost. Over all it really has been beneficial. I think we tend to view things through colored glass so to speak. Since I don't share much with anyone having a paid professional's view gives a degree of clarity we don't normally have. Your not alone in regretfully wishing your mother was no longer around. Just search "mother's day" on this forum and you'll get an idea of how many of us are out there. In my mother's case she is under around the clock care since she can't care for herself. If she were someone's pet the humane thing to do would be to be put to sleep. I do wonder how I will handle her passing and I doubt it will be as easy as I think it will be but I'll know soon enough. If the next 5 years come and go as the last 5 it's right around the corner. Back to you. I can see why this separation is difficult and I can see we are wired totally differently but I think it could be made much easier by letting her know you are in therapy. You found yourself there in large part due to her actions as a mother if you want to call it that. Had it been someone else and it were reported they would have been charged with assault and battery. She would have gotten that as well as neglect. Ask your therapist if she would recommend ceasing all contact for an undetermined period of time and I think he/she will say yes. Tell your mother it is in your best interest and if she has a huge problem with it she may should consider therapy as well. For someone who likes to play games they need a play mate. They can't play if no one else will. In the case of my own children I do not think they owe me their love. Their love is to be earned and cherished and I will never take it for granted. You deserve the same respect. If she is not willing to love you on your terms she doesn't deserve 1 second of your time or your love in light of what she's put you through.