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Thank you everyone. Lots of recognition for me here... I often dream of being back in a place I lived over 20 years ago, and also of my childhood home - both without any specific nasty memories but often with a feeling of things being somehow not at all right. But I nearly always wake up in...

Interesting article with much food for thought; thank you. I'm still experiencing this waking in despair and/or terror after over a year. My pattern is that I usually wake with a dream - sometimes seemingly innocuous and sometimes a nightmare. I'm left in an altered state - dissociated - that...

I have a history of bad dreams and nightmares. I had been doing okay, sleeping better and managing to "bear" the waking and get back to sleep, but at the weekend it all started up again, in what feels like a massive backward step The pattern is that I wake about 3.00 a.m. and am then completely...

More resonance for me here! Yes! baby steps to start in my case, but getting bigger all the time... ...and yes again - my T [trained and worked with Peter Levine] has helped me greatly with this. Something I didn't realise for a long time!

thank you @shimmerz for this thread and to everybody else who's contributed. I read the thread and a light went on - this has really helped me understand something about me and my experiences. This particularly resonated for me... 20 years ago, recovering from what had been diagnosed as a...

and I suddenly realise, not just intellectually, that I need to hear, and comfort it.

The all-or-nothing-ness is what kills me - when I feel okay, I kinda can't see what all the fuss [I was making] is about, and that state seems a million miles away. Then BOOM I crash and then, the "okay" person who thought that seems like a million miles away - completely unreachable. My present...

That rings so true for me. Sometimes sleep is what I need, but sometimes what I really need is a rest from the emotional overload. Then, sleeping is a slippery slope to an altered state - dissociation. I realise, reading this thread, that sometimes I try to fight it so hard that I wear myself...

...when you wake for the 10,000th time and realise the cavalry isn't coming. And, oh yeah that's it, you have to be your own cavalry. But damn it's hard sometimes...

One of my parents' favourite lines was "there's always somebody worse off than you". True, no doubt, but cruel and meaningless to a child who knows only their own suffering. Left me with a lifetime legacy of being very capable of feeling sorry for myself and beat myself up for being a fraud...

Thank you so much for your kind and compassionate reply @ladee . I read it and started crying, which is something I haven't been able to do for a while now - feels so good to let ot out and not feel so alone.

This started for me too about six months ago, and is pretty unrelenting. It's good to know we're not alone, but I'm afraid I haven't found the solution yet... Any ideas, anyone? BTW my T says that as I heal, I get stronger, and that is often when the next thing presents itself as I have...

I know this an old thread, but it describes so perfectly what is happening for me nowadays. I can go to bed feeling relatively fine and wake up in a pit I often find it impossible to climb out of. A moment or two of okay-ness on waking and then BAM!!! Spiralling down into dissociation, often for...

There is so much here in this thread that chimes for me, and so many pieces I would like to quote. Unfortunately, I can't get the quoting thing working properly on this iPad. Suffice to sayI feel like a fraud much of the time, and paradoxically the worse my symptoms are, the more I think/believe...

Yes, that resonates for me, and so does the following, very strongly - ...and I found the following really touched something for me - a message of hope ...thank you @Alice.in.Wonderland

This resonated for me, and I did some hard thinking - which didn't do me any good!! For me, it's always trying to think my way out of it that draws me further in, but, and I don't know why on this occasion, the resonance prompted some feeling/intuitive thought, and I hadd a chance to reflect on...

For me, this is definitely the process. Trigger leads to dissociation - but sometimes the trigger is so quick or subtle it's almost as if it wasn't there. I'm mainly working on dissociation in therapy at the moment (and still experiencing it a lot in my daily life too) and I can flip into it in...

I can only speak for myself, but when I came to Pete Walker's book [ "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving"] and read the section on Emotional Flashbacks, a bell rang - I recognised immediately that my experiences matched pretty much exactly what I was reading on the page. I then struggled...

Hi @shimmerz , I've found two Norman Doidge books on Amazon.Can you remember the exact title of the book? Like the idea of trying to use my over-developed cognitive side (which gives me so much trouble with its constant barrage of thoughts) to "trick" itself into rewriting the ole neural pathways...

Thanks to @MesaRock For starting this thread, and to all of you have who have responded so insightfully. I have been feeling increasingly alone and desperate during the last few months (despite working with a very good SE-based Therapist here in the UK) and I guess one big thing I am missing...

As a newbie browsing this thread, lots of things ring true and some make me smile, but the above really captures the irony of my situation - couldn't wait to be an adult when I was a child and... decades later... still can't!

too right @shimmerz ... I often feel that if I could just crack the issue of feeling I have, to various degrees, to get my validation from outside myself, rather than from others {how am I doing, am I okay, was that any good, etc etc] I would progress with recovery in leaps and bounds. For me...

Thank you! This, and the posts following it, resonate so powerfully for me just now! The thing I am really struggling with at the moment is a [very recent] deep realisation that my daily occupation doesn't really provide any validation of me or my competence at all. In fact, I also realise that...

Thank you all - reading this thread has been a real help to me. I have agonised (almost literally) about not being able to remember, and for a good while tortured myself with poisonous doubts about false memory syndrome. All because I couldn't remember the detail of the horrific things that were...

Pete Walker's description of Emotional Flashback resonated so much with my own experience I almost cried... finally a lucid description of how it is. I bought his book. Great stuff!